Salt Lake City: Mormon Capital + Gay Capital of the US ...coincidence?

According to a recent study by Advocate.com, Salt Lake City has been christened the #1 Gay City in the US.

Does it have the highest amount of gays per capita?  No.

Is it famously known for it's gay culture like West Hollywood or San Francisco?  Not quite.

But through a series of tests and tallies, SLC reigns supreme.  Factors like "Nude Yoga Classes" and "Openly Gay Elected officials" helped vault SLC to #1.

"But wait," I hear you asking... "Isn't Utah known for it's MORMONS and not it's Gay culture?"

Well, yes.  Of course.   But I think there may be a coincidence...

Heh heh... missionary....  heheheh...

You see, I have a good handful of gay friends.  One of my closest gay friends actually introduced me to my ex-wife.  (I forgave him)

One thing I remember from a lot of my gay friends is how 'anti-gay' they acted while they were in the closet.  I'm not sure if it was a front, or their way of trying to draw attention away from themselves, but I remember more than one doing it...

The LDS church has their contributions to the California Proposition 8 fiasco under their belt.  They donated a LOT of money to help make sure a ban on same-sex marriage happened in California, even though the number of Mormons in Cali is minimal...

If that doesn't scream 'closet case' I don't know what does.

Also, I recently did a post of Mormons looking for sex on Craigslist.  Most of the 'casual encounter' ads I found were male-for-male or female-for-female.  There were more Mormons looking for an anonymous same-sex hookup than for the opposite sex...

Now, I know I'm painting with a broad brush-stroke, but I'm doing it in the name of humor.  I have a lot of Mormon friends (to be discussed more at a later post) and MOST of them are completely heterosexual.  I also know the LDS Church isn't expressly anti-homosexual, as they DO have an openly gay Bishop.

But still.  For the lol's?  Yeah, they're gay.  ;)

Childish Humor Time - Yo Mama Edition

I'm in Salt Lake this week on business, and saw this business as I was driving around...

If you can't read the lettering, the business is called "Nacho Mama's Place."  Sadly they were out of business, but it made me remember an idea I had, long long ago...

I wanted to open up a 50's style Diner.  And call it "Your Mom's."

Why?

Think about it.  You're at work, and it's lunchtime.  You turn to a coworker and say "I'm going to head over to Your Mom's for lunch.  Do you want me to pick you up anything?"

Or you get home late and get asked where you have been... your response?  Your Mom's....

Childish, yes.  But brilliant marketing.  Or maybe not, since Nacho Mama's didn't survive...

A romantic rendevous turns into a fight with the bed

I recently joined Studio 30 Plus and am attempting my first writing prompt.  This week's theme is Hotel Stories, and it was just too juicy to pass up.  This has nothing to do with Idaho, so take it as you like.

My girlfriend and I were just starting the 'hot and heavy' phase of our relationship (we were friends long before) and I booked a romantic weekend getaway in Salt Lake City.

Ok, stop laughing.  Romantic and SLC don't exactly mesh, but I was living in Cali and she lived in Idaho.  It was a middle ground.  Easy flight for me, easy drive for her.

I booked the nicest suite at a good hotel, and were happy to finally get into our room (and back into each others, er, arms).

I'll be honest, it took us a while before we actually found the bed.  When we finally did, we noticed something unique.  It was a Sleep Number Bed!  Neither one of us had ever been on one before, so it felt like a fun new toy for us.

I never slept in a bed that came with an instruction manual.  After reading the basics, we picked our sides, and started playing with the firmness/softness.  We wanted to see what numbers we were, and if we were compatible in that way too.

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

Holy crap, this was a loud bed...

And it didn't really seem to work all too well.  I couldn't feel too much of a difference between a 90 and a 15.  Maybe it was just old and worn out?  I dunno.

We finally gave up on playing with the bed, and enjoyed a nice 3-day weekend together.  We left the hotel room maybe 2 times in total (a good weekend indeed...).  By the last night, we were both exhausted and content.  She was sound asleep, and I was drifting off when I heard a familiar sound...

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

This wasn't coming from our bed....

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

This was on the other side of the wall...

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

Those damn beds are so loud we could hear our neighbor playing with their bed.  Luckily that was all you were able to hear.

When I look back at the beginning of our relationship, I always look at our Salt Lake Trip and smile.  Sadly, the thing I remember most about that weekend wasn't the romance.  It was the bed.  (WRRRRRRRR...)