Observations: The Coffee Culture

I am writing this from one of the few good places in town to get coffee.

This place is called The Villa.  It's an independently owned coffee shop in the middle of downtown.  We have a couple of Starbucks in town, and another coffee shop inside a Music/Rental shop, but this place has the best coffee at the best price.

Now, every town I have ever lived in had different types of groups at each coffee shop.  This one would be the hipster hangout, and that one would be where all the older folks went.  Because the choices in this town are so limited, EVERYONE comes to The Villa.

Which makes this place perfect for me to set up camp and type.  PEOPLE-WATCHING TIME!!!

As you can guess.  Coffee + Wi-fi = Great place to hang out and bring your laptop.  There is no shortage of computers here.

We have one gentleman in his late 20's who has had too many refills on his latte and is practically shaking his laptop to death.  It's still early, I wonder if he has had breakfast?  The way he is jittering, his breakfast was a double-mocha espresso and a line of coke...

Another guy, slightly younger, has set himself up in the corner, with his back to a wall.  He doesn't want ANYONE to see his screen, and when people walk by he always stops what he's doing and looks at them nervously.  I smell a porn-surfer.  The bad news for him, though, is that he is kind of on the pathway to the restroom, so he gets interrupted a lot by walkers-by.  It's really hard to jerk off when you have so many interruptions.  Poor dude.

And of course, we have the hipsters.  No cool coffee shop is a true establishment without a population of hipsters hanging out.

I'm hip!  I'm with it!  I'm groovy like a movie!  Flavor-flav!!!

My favorite is the Old Hipster, who is sitting at the bar, flipping through his iPad, and trying to fit in with the scene.  Never mind he is in his 40's, and trying way too hard.  I mean, if you looked up the term 'hipster' in wikipedia, and you tried to copy the description to perfection, you'd be this guy.

I have seen him try to strike up conversations with kids 15 years younger than him, trying to 'get in with the cool kids' and fail miserably.  Over and over.  And over.

Another older gent, leaning back in his chair and just observing everyone with a sense of authority.  It's like he's the hall monitor, and his job is to make sure noone gets too loud or out of place.  He's glared once or twice at the 20-somethings who are doing what sounds-to-be Nursing school homework.  Apparently study groups aren't allowed in his den.

He's sipped that cup about 164 times in the last 5 minutes.  How is there still coffee in there?  Or is it all just an act?

Is there a portal at the bottom of the cup, with the Coffee Dimension on the other side?  Millions of java-beans worshiping him as their God, and sacrificing themselves to keep their sipping, glaring deity happy?

This girl is my absolute favorite.  I was surprised to find this picture online, because it fit her so damn well.  Glasses with no lenses in them, just to look cool.  Knit stocking cap and a huge puffy scarf on, and talking to her friend.  If only she really had the mustache coffee cup I would totally laugh my ass off.  They're across the room from me, so I really can't hear the conversation really well, but whenever scarf girl gets excited it's:

"I KNOW, RIGHT?"

"THAT'S TOOOOOOTALLY TRUE!"

"CHA!  I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!"

She has been glared at by the Super Sipper so many times I'm surprised she hasn't given him whiplash.

But there he sits, sip sip sip...

Don't fuck with the Coffee Police, missy...

Time for me to jet.  Since I'm not a part of any of the social circles in this habitat, it's time for me to escape before this place goes any more primal.  Until next time!

Oh, and by the way, I ordered tea.  Ha-HA!!

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