The Evolution of Jerking It (Science is AWESOME!)

This is what you look like when you're watching
internet porn....

I was thirteen when I discovered self-pleasure (a bit late to the ballgame, I know...) and the rest is history.

Back then, it was one of dad's Playboy magazines (helloooo Jenny McCarthy!) and good ol' lefty.

The 4th or 5th time, I rubbed myself raw.  I didn't learn the benefits of lube until I was sixteen (and paid the price on more than one occasion).

Looking back at then versus now, my 'technique' has definitely evolved.  There are definitely a million and six different ways to 'fap.'

A dry-rub, with lubrication, lefty, righty, 'the stranger' and toys galore.

Well, now there are a million and seven...  Introducing, for you iPad users, the newest way to jerk it to internet porn:

The Fleshlight attachment, also known as the FleshliPad.

Your eyes do not deceive you, my brother!  The attachment snaps onto your iPad and has its own pocket-pussy, so you can find your favorite POV porn and imagine yourself boofing a nine-inch munchkin!

The only warning I can give guys is not to try and use this 'hands-free.'  If you put too much weight on the screen you're going to break the glass.  iPads, like their iPhone cousins, have screens that break when you look at them the wrong way.

Oh, and if you like giving 'facials' to your victims, DO NOT let your kids play Angry Birds on this device!  I don't care how many times you've wiped it off, that's just plain wrong.

For those of you that have Android tablets, I am sure there is an Android version out there somewhere (if not, there will be soon).  As technology improves, the evolution of sex (whether solo or with a friend) will always find ways to advance and evolve...

After all, science is awesome!

Porn is Bad, Mmmmkay?

This weekend, anti-pornography groups will be meeting in Eastern Idaho to discuss how to handle the epidemic of smut on the internet, and how to keep children from being brainwashed by the filth.

...really?

If you read the article from the local news station, it says that the increase in porn awareness is also increasing the amount of child pornography.  Therefore, all porn is bad.

This sounds like the same logic of "if you smoke marijuana, you're going to end up doing heroin, meth, cocaine and all the other drugs too."  I mean, people have zero impulse control.  When you try one, you're on a slippery slope of self-destruction.

I watch the occasional skin flick from time to time.  Hell, I've blogged about it, so the average reader probably knows what I'm into... do I like kiddy porn?  Animal porn?  Absolutely not.

Do I treat my girlfriend like an object, because that's what you all-too-commonly see in porn?  Nope.

Am I dysfunctional?  A deviant?  Well, maybe a little... but I'm still a functioning member of society, and know to keep my freaky side behind closed doors...

The conference is being held this Saturday in various locations.  I'm tempted to go, just to see what this group is all about.

If I get really bold, I may end up asking some fun questions to get the rage flowing.  Problem, bible-thumpers?

Nothing is more fun than trolling a group of hot-tempered people...