Send In The Clowns? Not In Idaho Falls.

It's true, it's true.  Idaho Falls does not like clowns.

Well, it's not as simple as that, but it never is...

Idaho Falls has its annual 4th of July Parade coming up, and there will be no clowns at the event.

You see, the clowns use golf carts to hold the candy they pass out, as well as store the various magic tricks they do along the parade route.  There is a ban on golf carts for parade use, and now the city is enforcing it.

According to a recent news article, their reasoning is 'if we let the clowns use them, then we have to let everyone use them.'

(Wow, I haven't heard that line since I was chewing gum in my 4th grade classroom.  The next day, I brought enough gum for the rest of the class, so I can chew in peace... and got detention...)

This will be the first time Idaho Falls will be 'clown-less' in 29 years.  Even though the clowns provide their own golf carts and are fully insured, it's a liability thing.

...my guess is someone on the Chamber of Commerce just doesn't like clowns, and has been trying to do this for years...

What's next?  Imposing a ban on Fez's, so the Shriners go away as well?

Beep beep, bitches...

Now, the 4th in Idaho Falls is a big thing.  I did a post last year on their fireworks show, touted as 'the biggest fireworks celebration west of the Mississippi river.'  It is hosted by local business owner and super-villain philanthropist Frank Vandersloot, so the show is not without controversy.

However, people come from hundreds of miles away to see this show.  It is a prime example of America's love for blowing shit up our country.

Of course, local businesses are capitalizing on our need to barbecue, drink gallons of soda/beer, and picnic to our hearts' content.  Take this beer display at Walmart for example:

'Murrica.....  FUCK YEAH!!!

Well, 'tis the season I guess.  As for me, I'm going to a baseball game on the 4th.  I'll be passing on the parade, mourning for the clowns, and celebrating my freedom by not giving a damn.

...and probably wearing this shirt... (because I can)

Staying Cool in the Summer Heat - Watermelon Martini

Watermelon is a cool, sweet, refreshing way to make your summer days enjoyable.  During the summer months, watermelons are found on many a picnic table.  I'd like to show you a fun way to take this tasty treat from the lunch plate to the barstool.

Introducing:  The summer watermelon martini.

You need 4 ingredients to make this refreshing drink:

• Personal-sized watermelon (seedless is less prep-work, but if you don't mind taking out seeds, the seeded watermelons are much juicier)
• Ice (not a lot, just a little to make it slushy)
• and the secret ingredient... watermelon vodka.

The vodka is the main component to this drink.  Regular vodka and the taste of alcohol is too strong.  Watermelon vodka is sweet, and makes this drink more about the rich melon flavor, and less about the booze.

But don't worry, the booze is still there.

Step one is to take about a dozen ice cubes and grind them up in the blender.  Watermelon blends easily, ice does not.  The pre-crush will make the drink much less chunky.

After chopping the melon into small pieces, place them on top of the chopped ice into the blender.

Add 5oz of watermelon vodka into the mix.  One blender-full will make about 4 servings, so booze-up accordingly (I played it a little conservative...)

Set the blender to the 'puree' setting, and let it do its thing for about 10 seconds.  Pour and serve.

If you feel creative, you can save a few pieces of melon to use as a garnish.  

Enjoy!