This Post About Yellowstone National Park Is Sponsored By Cheetos

Yellowstone National Park is extremely breathtaking, and I am fortunate enough to live within 2 hours of the western entrance.  My family vacationed at Yosemite in California a lot, so I love going to these parks and seeing the sights.

Sadly though, I have still not gone there for recreational purposes.  The only time I get to go to the park is when I am driving through.

Last week was another drive-thru trip on my way to central Wyoming.  It's a picturesque and tranquil drive, unless of course, you run into tourists.

And being the middle of July, I ran into tourists.

A lot of them.

Yellowstone tourists are special, in the fact that a lot of them try to enjoy nature from within their car.  A prime example of this is when you're on one of the roads, and there is some wildlife within visual range.

EVERYBODY stops to see.  Some pull over.  Some don't.  Regardless, everyone stops and the streets are now gummed up.

About 1/3 into my drive, a family of elk appeared between the road and the river, about 30 feet from the pavement.  People slammed on their brakes, and traffic both ways came to a screeching halt.  I was stuck.

Families get out of their cars to take pictures.  One man decides to get into the shot, and tries to get as close to the wildlife as possible.  He's inching closer and closer, telling his wife to take the shot.

Mama elk is getting agitated, but wifey has an idea to calm it down.  In a shrill Wisconsin accent, she yells "SEE IF IT WANTS A CHEETO!"

Firstly, why the fuck would it want a Cheeto??  Secondly, didn't you see the millions of signs posted, telling you not to feed the wildlife??

Living in this area, I see a lot of nature.  It's beautiful, but I'm not one to fuck with other people's schedules just to get a good photo.  Finally a space opened up and I was on my way, slightly angrier and running a little late, but on my way nonetheless.

An hour later, traffic starts to slow again.  Since it's only one side (my side) I assume there's an animal in the road blocking traffic in the opposite direction.

I was right.  After 10 minutes, I can see a bison walking in my direction, waiting for an opening to get off the road.  With cars in front of me and behind me, I'm hoping to get out of this jam asap, when:

...the person in front of me starts chatting with the lead car behind the bison.  "So, heh, how long have you been trailing this thing?"

They keep chatting, and I'm getting more and more frustrated.  Finally I lean out of my car and mimic the Wisconsin bitch as best as I could.

"SEE IF IT WANTS A CHEETO!"


I even properly pronounced it "cheee-dough" like she did.  The guy in front of me turned around to glare at me, and had this exact reaction:

...and promptly moved on.


I love Yellowstone.  I love the wildlife, and the mixed smell of trees/wildflowers/water/wildlife/fresh air that stays with you all through the park (unless you're near the sulfur springs...).  It smells like tranquility.  It smells like peace.


But seriously, can the tourists have a little more common sense and respect for others?  I have a job to do, and some of us are just trying to drive through!


But I have to admit, the next time I see an animal in the wild, I'm going to think about Cheetos and smile a little...

Mexican Food, Wisconsin and the Macarena (aaah-ight!)

Last week's work schedule included four 14-hour days in a row and over 1,300 miles on the road.  After so much, I wanted to spend time with my wonderful girlfriend.

We decided to go out to Garcia's Mexican Restaurant and enjoy the best Mexican food Eastern Idaho has to offer.

(hahahaha...)

We ordered drinks and our dinner from the most annoying baby-talking waitress on Earth, and settled into our chairs for nice conversation and footsie.

The waitress we were blessed with had an odd Wisconsin-ish accent.  The accent combined with the baby-talk made for an interesting time.

Mexican restaurant.

Eastern Idaho.

Ittle Wittle Waitress fwom Wisconsin.

WTF?

When we finally became tired of poking fun, we decided to eat.

That's when I heard it....

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena

Heeey Macarena!  (aaaaah-iiight!)

It wasn't obvious since it was a horrible cover band instead of the horrible original duo, but the lyrics and the beat were basically the same.


This is supposed to be the nicest sit-down Mexican joint in town, and everything about it was more or less a joke, except for the food.  The food is amazing, but I think getting it 'to-go' would be a wise choice next time.


On the bright side, it made for a refreshing night.  This circus of a restaurant helped wash away the workweek like an extreme palate-cleanser on crack. I don't think I'll be going back anytime soon, but I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.


My question to you is:  How in the hell do you rate this kind of night?  Annoying yet oddly entertaining?  Can you give a restaurant 4 stars in a review, but note that 2 of them were given ironically?