Why Did The Black Man Cross The Road? (When Is Racism Funny?)

I spent the majority of last week in Las Vegas and California.  Normally what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but this story just has to be shared.

It's racist, borderline offensive.  But a little funny.  Just bare with me...

I was in Vegas, taking the shuttle bus to the airport from the car rental dropoff.  I was in between a group of drunk tourists and a middle-aged black couple.

The drunk dudes were talking about their trip, and how one of them almost nailed a black chick.

This turned into a few racist jokes.

The black couple was slowly getting more and more offended, and the wife restrained her husband more than once.  I'm getting uncomfortable watching this, but wasn't in a position to make the guys stop.

This continues to escalate until one of the drunkies cracks this joke:  "Hey, why did the black man cross the road?  BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE CHICKEN WAS!!"

The black dude laughed a little, and then looked around to see if anyone noticed.

His eyes caught mine.  I pointed to him, with an "I saw that, you laughed" face.  His expression?

He knew he got caught, and then wasn't angry at the drunk dudes anymore.  Apparently racism is ok as long as it's funny...

On that note, that could be why Randy Newman recently made this song:

"I'm Dreaming of a White President" can be seen as racist, but Mr. Newman made this song as a jab to the Republican Party and some of the hate rhetoric going around.

Again, slightly racist, but intended to be funny.

So when is it ok to make a racist joke?  Can black people be self-deprecating and joke about KFC and Watermelon?

Or is that crossing a line, since white people would be crucified for telling the same joke?

Carlos Mencia talks about 'Beaners and Wetbacks' but I can't.

...yet everyone jokes about White Trash and rednecks.  And I'm ok with that.

Can racism be funny?  Can we poke fun at ourselves and each other without getting overly offended?

Or if I shout out "Fuck yo couch, nigga!" will you cry foul?

Separate But Equal Is NOT Equal

This is not a post about same sex marriage, so please don't take this out of context.  To homo/bi/pansexuals, I salute you, but we'll talk about you later, mmmk?

This post is about racism.

Specifically, how some races are perpetuating a 'separate but equal' message while still pointing the fingers at other people, with the balls to call them racist.

When dating, or looking at someone 'attractive' or not, I don't take race into consideration.  I have dated outside my race from time to time, and would like to think the notion of "Jungle Fever" can be left in the 20th century.

60's, 70's, maybe even the 80's and 90's, dating 'other-skinned' people may have been taboo.  But it's fucking 2012.  Get over it.

This rant was mainly prompted by Blackpeoplemeet.com and their commercials.

From their website:

BlackPeopleMeet.com is the premier online black dating service. Black singles are online now in our large online black dating community. BlackPeopleMeet.com is designed for Black dating and to bring Black people together. Join BlackPeopleMeet.com and meet new people for Black dating. BlackPeopleMeet.com is a niche, Black dating service for single black men and single black women. Become a member of BlackPeopleMeet.com and learn more about Black dating online. Black dating works better with BlackPeopleMeet.com!

Ok, firstly.  You're airing commercials in Eastern Idaho.  There aren't a lot of African Americans over here, so spend your money a little wiser, ok?  Secondly, how is this acceptable?  You don't see any 'white people only' dating sites.  God forbid if there were a whites-only dating site, it would be in the news almost immediately.

To me, THIS is what blackpeoplemeet.com looks like.  However, unlike the Jim Crow days, these black people are doing it to themselves.  Separating yourself into a 'we only congregate with our own kind' is exactly what the 60's generation and Dr. King fought against.

I asked a handful of people from all races if they would ever date outside of their race.  Of the 60 I asked, one said she would only date people of the same race as her (and it was "more of a Catholic thing than a latin thing").  Everyone else said race was not an issue.  Some were even mildly offended I asked in the first place.

"What is this, 1965?"  they asked.

And I agree.  I personally have only one discriminating factor when looking to date someone:  They have to be female.  Some people don't even discriminate on sex (props to the bisexuals, woop woop).  We're now knee-deep into the 21st century.  It's time to stop separating ourselves by skin color and just let racism die.

To blackpeoplemeet.com, fuck you.  Fuck you for making a race-related website.  All you are doing is feeding off the 'stick to our own kind' mentality and keeping racism alive.

Fuck you, Kanye West.

To Kanye West, fuck you.  Fuck you for pointing the finger over and over at whites, calling all white people racist, while keeping the word "Nigga" alive in any way shape or form.  In your newest album, all but 2 of the 13 tracks have the word "nigga" in it, over and over.  By keeping that word alive, and for playing the race card over and over, you're helping keep racism alive.

Personally, I think Kanye West is probably the most racist individual in the USA.  But that's just me...

To anyone who discriminates or judges based on race or skin color, fuck you.  Fuck you for being so petty and for thinking people with lighter or darker skin are somehow on a different level than you.

That means fuck you to the white people that do it, and fuck you to the black people that do it.  I'm being equal-opportunity here, after all.

What do you think?  Is a website like blackpeoplemeet.com a smart idea, or is it only perpetuating the 'separate but equal' mantra?  I would love to get some opinions here from both sides, especially from non-whites.


Afterthought:  Blackpeoplemeet.com is owned by People Media, who also run the following singles sites:

• Big Beautiful People Meet
• 50+ People Meet
• Democratic / Republican People Meet
• and more

I guess keeping to your own kind is profitable?  Lets keep all the geezers and fatties and liberals away from MY dating site... (please note the oozing sarcasm here...)

#Racism and #Technology in the 21st Century

Racism is a touchy subject, and will be for years to come.  Recently a law passed in Alabama regarding illegal immigration, and almost immediately anyone with brown skin became a "Damn Mexican" and was harassed to go back to Mexico.  Where you are for or against illegal immigration laws, the basic public ignorance will make your stomach turn.  (check out this article for more)

A lot of racism, though, is probably unintentional.  Take technology for example.  Computers with webcams now fave facial recognition technology, and will automatically zoom and center on your face when it sees it.

...unless you're black.  Then it can't see you.

This video has been passed around the internet for a few years now.  It's funny, but brings up an interesting point:  When building technology, do you HAVE to think a little bit about race?  Absolutely.  Because the software doesn't work for black people, I'm assuming nobody on the testing team had dark skin.

...just like I'm assuming the testers of this camera were probably not Asian...

...which is interesting, because the Headquarters for Nikon is in Tokyo.

If there is not a diversity of engineers making this technology, I understand.  Same with Quality Control.  But when product testing, maybe you have to think a little bit racist.   Not to be a bigot, but to make sure the technology capabilities work for a diverse group of people.

This makes me wonder... would a vehicle with voice recognition understand Ebonics?  Or redneck?  Or English with a heavy accent from another culture?  Anybody want to test that out for me and let me know?

If you have experienced a technologial goof-up due to race or culture, please share below.  Thanks!

Father's Day Weekend - Why I'm Not Sending My Dad a Tie This Year...

Actually, if anything, I'll be sending this coffee mug to him instead.  It sends a message of "I love you dad, but that doesn't mean I have to like you."

But then again, I doubt he's expecting anything from me.  We haven't talked since early 2009.

Why?  Well, if you ask him, it's because I'm ungrateful.

If you ask anyone else in the world that knows him, it's because he's a grade-A jerk.

I blogged earlier about my mom, and how she is finally living a life of a promiscuous 20-something at the age of 49.  Well a lot of it was because she married my dad young, and he was a d-bag from day 1.  When she turned 16, she bought her own car.  A 1977 Trans-Am, brand new, all the bells and whistles.  It was her dream car, and she loved it.  She married my dad in 1980, and the first thing he did was sell her car.  Why?  In his opinion, "it wasn't the car a married woman and mother should be driving."  Did he consult her?  Nope.  He just did it.

And that's how he lives his life.  He knows best, and he's always right.

Dad hasn't worked a consistent job since about 1995.  But he plays the lotto on a daily basis.  He plays all the different types:  Draw 3, draw 5, the big lotto, and he keeps a log.  He has hundreds of pages of graph paper with lotto results from the last 15 years, and LOVES to talk at length about how the California lottery is monitoring HIM, and making sure his numbers never come up.

Yes, I'm completely serious.  The California State Lotto is watching my dad like a hawk.  If he plays 2-7-2 on a pick 3, they will make sure he's always 1 number off.  Even if the number drawn is 8-4-5, he can find a way to justify it SHOULD HAVE BEEN his number.

See, folks?  This is what happens when you don't work.  You go crazy.  It completely made sense when my mom left him about 5 years ago.

Another big issue I have with my dad is his racism.  He's a hard-line Democrat, and I was raised in a neighborhood where I was pretty much the only white boy on my block.  Racism doesn't thrive well in those scenarios, but my dad finds a way.

According to dad, all the bad drivers on the road are Mexican.  Ok, ok, in Southern California that's a safe bet statistics-wise, but still... when you're 15, and you're dad his hanging his head out the window of the car yelling "CHOCO LOCO!!!" it's a bit of an embarassment.

Speaking of car stories, he's a chain smoker.  He smokes in his car, with the windows rolled up.  Growing up, I was definitely a somewhat addicted second-hand smoker.  When I cough, I sound like I've been smoking a pack a day since I was 12... Thanks dad, for fucking up my lungs and not caring.

He was finally evicted from the home I was raised in, and is now living with his parents in Arizona.  I feel sorry for Grandma and Grandpa.  Talking to them, he's pretty close to being homeless, because dad is treating them like dirt... even though they are giving him a place to stay rent-free.  Go fig.

Dad only cares about himself.  He has gotten TV and phone service in my name by using my Social Security Number, because his credit is so screwed up.  His solution was to take advantage of his boys... first my brother and then me.  Isn't he great?

On the bright side, dad has taught me a valuable lesson:  Don't be like him.  I make an effort every day to be as NOT like him as possible.  I don't judge, I don't exploit, and I try to put others first.  So, in a way, thanks dad for being such an asshole.

Just because I'm white doesn't mean I can't be ghetto

**As always, read the post as well as the comments.  We have a pretty good discussion brewing...**

Today's controversial post is about... racism!  YAAAAAAY!!!

I was having a conversation a few months back, and was told "you can't say those things, you're white!"

Excuse me?

We were talking about growing up, and I told them how I was from the ghetto.  I was one of 3 white families on my block, so I grew up tough.  Hip Hop and rap were on all the boom boxes (when they were still boom boxes) and you just grew up with the slang you grew up with.

...but... I'm white...

So?

The conversation reminded me of an altercation in High School, with one of my teachers and a black student.  She was kicked out of class because she kept disrupting everyone and had a horrible attitude.  Finally the teacher said 'enough is enough,' failed her, and told her to never come back.

Mom thought it was because the daughter was black, and the teacher was white.

She STORMS into the classroom in the middle of class, and starts screaming at the teacher.  Finally, one of us students interjects.  "She wasn't kicked out because she was black, and our teacher isn't racist.  She was kicked out because she was a self-centered rude-ass BITCH, and I'm starting to understand where she gets it from."

Mind you, this student who spoke up was white as well.

Mama slaps the student (HARD.  Like knocks him down hard to the ground), and calls the ACLU.  Teacher gets investigated, and student gets expelled.  You'd think mom would get charged with assault, right?  Especially with over 30 witnesses?  Nope.

Long story short, racism is still alive today.  Are the same players causing it that were in the 60's?  Maybe some, but it's on all sides now.  I know too many white people who don't like people different than them, and I know too many black and latin people who are "The boy who cried racism" whenever they are hated on.

I'm sorry.  Black, white, mexican, asian, if you're a douche, I'm gonna kick your ass.  Why is it that, if their skin is a different color, it's called a hate crime?  I'm allowed to hate other white people too, right?

What's sad is there is almost no racial diversity in my town, and you can feel the 'you're different' vibe in the air sometimes.  Too many rednecks with big trucks...

So back to me.  Yes, I'm white.  But here are some "omg, you can't like THAT, you're white!" moments:

I love me some Boondocks.

I grew up on Hip Hop, and still love it today.   Sure, I like rock, Dean Martin, Classical, metal and other stuff too, but put on some NWA, some Biggie, some Snoop, and I'm going to BLAST IT.  Remember, I want to open up my own Idahoan hip hop radio station after all...

What's wrong, Cube?  You look mad.  Why u mad?

And I can probably make better tamales than any white boy you've ever met.

But I still play video games like a nerd, and find stuff like this funny:

Does that make me racist?  Or just human?