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Showing posts with label hotels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hotels. Show all posts

6/27/12

Tales from the Hotel Room: My TV Remote Looks Like A Dildo

As always, I'm on the road...

(...I love my job...)

I'm staying at a new hotel in Southern Utah, and they have a really neat remote control.  It's called the Clean Remote:


The Clean Remote is designed to be easily disinfected, which is fantastic for a hotel room.  A study on Fitness Health 101 shows that the TV remote is one of the dirtiest areas in the hotel room (along with doorknobs and the bedside light switch).  The fact that these can be easily sanitized are a BIG plus.


Best of all, it has a 'sleep timer' button, which not all hotel remotes have.  I like to fall asleep with the TV on, but I don't want the TV on all night.  Sleep timers = Win.

However, I noticed one interesting thing:


From the back, this remote control looks like... well...


...like it should a 'vibrate' function...

Thinking about this remote control being doubled as a dildo made me wonder if they TRULY sanitized this thing before I touched it...

Luckily, I bring along plenty of hand sanitizer with me.  I shake a lot of hands on the road, and you never know who is germy or sick...

...or if the last occupants in my hotel room shoved the remote control up their ass...


5/28/12

Hotel Evacuation? Sounds Fun.

Until recently, I have never been in a fire or an actual evacuation due to a fire.  I have been in countless fire drills, been told how to evacuate a school / house / plane / bus / hotel in case of fire, but I was never unfortunate enough to put my training to the test.

...until last week.

Last week I was doing a ride along with a VIP.  He is a manufacturer rep, and actually more of an executive than a rep.  We covered Wyoming and Idaho in one day, and were ending the night in Missoula Montana.

750 miles and 13.5 hours after the work day started, our day finally ended.  We pulled into the hotel, checked in, wound down, settled in our own respective rooms, when...

BEEEP.  BEEEEP.  BEEEEP.

The alarm was going off.

I had just drifted off to sleep, and my TV hadn't quite turned off (sleep mode rocks) when the alarms started.

I woke up, and initially thought it was the TV.  The movie trailer for Prometheus was on, and the annoying siren-music on the trailer sounded a lot like the alarm.

So I turned down the volume.

The noise wasn't going away.

Finally, I put on some decent clothes, grabbed the essentials (room key, wallet, phone for pictures) and inspected the door.  Not hot.  I looked outside.

Smoke.  Everywhere.

Like everyone else, I evacuated.  There were dozens of people already outside (including a few hotties in only robes) and we all herded together.  I found my VIP ride-mate, and we laughed about the situation.  "You really know how to show a guy a good time, Brandon" he quipped.

Then the fire trucks came...

The night manager did a head count and assured all the patrons that we would receive some sort of recompense for the situation.

We were also assured that, although smoke was a-plenty, there were no flames.

Apparently, one of the dryers exploded.  At least, that's what we were told.

An hour later (in 44 degree weather) we were finally given the all-clear and told to go back inside.  On and off for the next 30 minutes, they tested the alarms to make sure they were working properly.  Around 3:30, after everything was said and done, and nerves finally calmed, I was finally able to get to sleep.

...and start my day around 6:30.

The next day, I checked out.  The manager on duty gave me my invoice, apologized for the night before, and wished me well.  No recompense, no discount, no comped room.  I was slightly miffed, but in a hurry, so I didn't have time to argue.

On my way out, I noticed this sign and laughed:

Ironic much?
I stay at this La Quinta whenever I'm in Missoula.  They've been good to me until this last trip, so I'm a little torn.  The next time I'm in town, I may shop around to other hotels...

The moral of this story?

CLEAN YOUR LINT TRAPS OFTEN!!  A hotel manager friend of mine mentioned this was likely the cause of the problem, and happens more often than you'd think.

Needless to say, when I got home after my long trip, I went straight to my dryer and cleaned that fucking trap.

Have you ever had something like this happen?  What did you do?  What did the hotel do?