Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't compete, judge. #BloggerIdol

I love writing.

I love competing.

Most of all, I love winning.

But I have learned over the last (almost) 3 years that this blog needs a "does not fit into mainstream society" badge.

I use strong language.  I make fun of people, things, and whatever I can.

I have pissed off a LOT of butthurt Mormons and probably have a mafioso-style hit placed on my head.

Yet, back in 2011 and again in 2012 (I think), I auditioned for Blogger Idol.

Why?  Because I thought I was hot shit.  And I was.  And I am.  But I'm not really BI material.

I'm a very 'Rated R' blog, and the BI contestants that shine are a firm PG-13.  No feather ruffling, no pot-stirring.

So I'm friends with the wonder woman who runs BI.  She asked me to judge last year, as well as this year.  Finally I took her up on her offer, and I am now a judge for Blogger Idol 2013.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Best of all, when I introduced myself to the panel, this happened:

Well, now I know for sure.  But hey, I know good writing when I see it.  I'll be judging you all from afar, but feel free to bribe me with sexy selfies, paypal 'donations' and other illicit things!

And if you think you have what it takes (better than me), go audition at http://blogger-idol.com/

I'll be waiting.

Help me rock the vote!

As you may already know, I auditioned for Blogger Idol and failed.  Sometimes controversy is just that: controversial.  Oh well, no big deal.

However, there are still contestants in the competition.  One of which is Mama Spaghetti.  She is awesome, her blog is funny, and I want her to win.

I like her.

And she likes me too.  This week's theme for Blogger Idol is to give a shout out to blogs that inspire you.  I was on her list (read it here).  Because of her awesomeness, I have voted for her every week.  With this post of admiration, I'm going to step it up a little...

I'm going to campaign on her behalf.  (Look at me, endorsing a mommy blogger.  Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?  Good thing she's not a typical run-of-the-mill mommy blogger...)

Go vote for this week's post, and every week thereafter!  Make sure to vote Mama Spaghetti, and rocket her to the top of the charts!

To vote, go here, and click on Mama Spaghetti in the poll.  If you want to be fair and balanced, read through all the submissions (*chuckle*).

Oh, look!  Diddy's back!

I have a confession to make: I tried to conform.

Unless you've lived in a hole for the past 10 years, you know what American Idol is.  Well, I just tried to become the blogging equivalent to it...


...and failed...


I'm saddened, but I'm not as surprised as I thought I would be.


I auditioned for Blogger Idol.  It is a writing contest where bloggers could test their chops against other bloggers in a battle for supremacy.  11 judges looked at 52 entries, and the top 12 make it into the competition.


Tweeted from @Bloggeridol:  "The total possible score was 405. The highest score was 367, lowest was 166. All of the top 12 was above 339."


Now I'm kind of hoping I was the 166...


I didn't make it, and I have had that feeling since I auditioned.  You see, most of the judges were mommy/daddy/family bloggers.  They would get edgy from time to time, but it's mostly good wholesome stuff.  When they announced the top 12, most of the finalists fit into that category as well. There were some exceptions, but not a lot.

If you're comparing BI to AI, the most marketable, mainstream people made the cut.  This is not a show designed for anti-heroes, and that's how I kind of saw myself in this competition.


I poke at religion, society, race, culture, and the politically ignorant.  You'd never see a TV version of my blog on ABC Family channel.  You'd never see my opinions echoed on Dr. Phil.


My ribbing about how annoying it is that Mormons pray before they do anything?  PR nightmare.  


Any 'Freaky Friday' post of mine would ruin the image of a contest that is trying to become a big thing.  After all, I don't think Blogher would be happy about me chatting it up about Balloon fetishes on THEIR website...  (I'm stewing a 'What would Blogher do?' t-shirt design, mocking the happy wholesome bloggers.  I smell gimmick infringement, but it would be funny...)

So yes, I felt a little like the Anarchist trying to get a show on the Disney channel, but I tried anyway.  When the person in charge hinted I "would make an excellent JUDGE" I didn't see the writing on the wall that I would be a lousy contestant, but meh.


I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, because I'm me.  This blog is who I am, and you, my followers, are who I cater to.  You 631 (and growing) are what makes me Blogger Idol, with or without an official title.


Congrats to the top 12.  I'll be rooting for the one who goes against the grain more than the rest.  After all, who wants another Clay Aiken in their life??