My Own Private Utah

In order to achieve the full feel of this post, please let this music play in the background as you read:

I spent the last week visiting Utah for work, and I have to say.... Idaho seems pretty tame by comparison.

And yes... I said it.  I mean it.  As much as I snark and rant about Idaho, the weird locals, the funny culture differences, and the mormon majority, Utah takes the cake when it comes to oddities.

Firstly let's address the video, which should be playing in the background.  My new job has me visiting pet stores, feed stores, hardware stores, etc.  THIS song, Dueling Banjos, was overheard two different times in two stores over the course of two days.  No joke.  If it isn't this song playing, it's some bluegrass nonsense, with the banjos plucking and the autoharp wailing.  Oddly enough, the twang being pumped through the speakers  fits perfectly with the twang coming out of the locals' mouths.

Mullets are back in season, as well as people with the slow, whiskey-induced drawl.  "You ain't from 'round these here parts... are ya?"  I tell them I'm from Idaho, and I get sneered at.  Which is funny, because I get those same sneers in Idaho when I tell people I'm from California.

The best part?  Utah is usually associated with Mormons, but I'm not talking about the LDS crazies right now.  I think all the mormons moved north to Idaho, to escape the Utah crazies.  And believe me, I can understand why.

Just having to deal with people in the stores is bad enough.  When you get on the road it's even worse.  Everyone is out to get everyone else, and cars are weapons.  An out of state license plate isn't like a target on your car.  People don't care about that in Utah.  Here, it's Me vs. The World, and all you are is in someone else's way.

Crazy is everywhere in this state, including its government.  A recent law was passed abolishing happy hours at Utah bars, because drinking specials could lead to excessive drinking, drinking and driving, date rape, child molestation, and OH MY GAWD THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

My response to this law... what bars?  I spent three days in Utah last week, and couldn't find a single hangout spot worthy of my attention.  Oh well.

Run!  I hear banjo music!

When it was finally time to escape from the looney state, I was glad to leave.  I ended up seeing a few good customers, but my overall opinion on Utah was "so-so place to visit, just not for long."  I'm sure there are good things about the state (national parks, for example) but when you're there on business, it's hard to find any pleasure on the trip.

It feels odd to say this, but.... huaaa.... errr.....  I was GLAD to get back to Idaho.  (ugh, that felt weird)

So, Utahans / Utes / Whatever you call yourselves... if you read my blog, please fill me in:  What is there to do in Utah?  I'm going to be back down there in about a month (SLC area), and would like to try and enjoy my stay next time...

Thanks in advance.

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