Honestly, the movie itself wasn't so bad. Solid 7 out of 10, I'd say.
But my problem isn't with the movie itself... it was with the event as a whole.
Being a premiere, it was packed. We were toward the front of the line, so the crowding wasn't so bad. But before the premieres started, the theater manager had to come in, announce "saving seats is not allowed" and went over the rules of the theater before she'd leave us alone. Best of all, it was done entirely via megaphone, about 6 feet from my face.
I wanted to 'boo' her.
Next up were the previews. There are a few good summer flicks coming out, but some of the premiers bothered me.
First up was the movie-rendition of Rock'em Sock'em Robots. I kid you not. Watch the vid...
I used to play boxing robots when I was a kid. But not once did I say "hey, you know what? This would make a kickass movie!" Hugh Jackman, whatever they paid you for this, it wasn't enough.
Next was the token goofball comedy: Zookeeper...
Paul Blart: Mall Cop meets Dr. Doolittle in this zany comedy of a dimwitted, unattractive zookeeper trying to win a shallow supermodel's love. The sad thing is... people will pay to see this. A lot of people...
Ok, enough of the previews. The movie starts, and it's the normal Pirates style. Jack Sparrow has some zany misadventures, almost dies yet narrowly escapes, and then the true adventure can start. Dun dun dun!!!
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....."
Um, what?
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....."
Yes folks, there's a baby in the theater. And no, mommy isn't leaving with the baby... she'd miss the movie!! Instead, she tries to shoosh him for a good 5 minutes before finally giving up, and exiting the theater.
But wait....
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....."
Not another one...
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....."
Yep. One in the back, one in the front. Luckily this mommy got the hint faster.
Lucky for her, too. If she were any closer, or took any longer, I would have hucked a gummy worm at her. I mean, who brings a baby to a loud PG-13 movie theater on opening day? Either find a babysitter or come another time. Disrupting a crowd of 250+ because of your own selfishness is just plain rude.
The rest of the movie played on, the ending was predictable, humorous, and left enough open for yet another sequel. The movie itself was decent, but the environment kind of got on my nerves.
After the movie was done, the group wanted to stay together and hang for a bit. In the same mini-mall area is a self-serve Frogurt place a-la-pinkberry, but a little different. It's called Orange Leaf (see what they did there?) and it was packed.
Packed with teens. Prom teens.
Kinda slutty-ish prom teens. I don't remember the girls at my prom looking this trashy, and we were in the ghetto. Trashy was our middle name.
Nope, here in mormon-ville, this is the one time girls can look as trashy as they want and it's ok. Short poofy skirts were a-plenty. One girl's dress was so short I could tell you what type of underwear she had on. The bad thing is I could probably get arrested if I told you...
The favorite out of the slutty prom crew was this blonde in the red dress. Our group all decided that she did her hair in the 'messy look' so mommy and daddy wouldn't be able to tell if she rolled out of her date's back seat or not.Or maybe she just did, and her hair was perfect about a half hour ago... who knows?
At least the night ended with some amusement. And a great idea. They have these little juice-filled boba balls you can add to your yogurt. I'm going to make an alcoholic version of it, open up an 'adult' pinkberry and just call it "Drunk-Ass Yogurt." Come on in, and eat your way to a good buzz!
What do you think? Would you like booze for dessert? Sounds tempting, doesn't it??
