It's my addiction, and not a bad one to have when compared to other addictive things out there...
One morning I was coming back home from the gym, when I decided to stop by my local grocery store for a Rockstar (another addiction of mine) and to see if I won the Powerball jackpot (I didn't).
My grocery store has a claw machine, and I peek inside from time to time to see if there is anything worth grabbing. Nine times out of ten it is filled with garbage, and today was no exception...
Until I saw it...
Half-buried in the mess was a plush Mitt Romney doll. I stopped, stared, and laughed at the stupidity.
But then, Mitt won me over.
I made my purchase, cursed my losing lottery ticket, and was exiting the store when Mitt called out to me...
I had to win it.
 |
| See the look of worry on his face? |
...he only cost me one dollar too... It's like he wanted to come with me...
So now the big question, my wonderful readers: What am I going to do with him?
Do I give him to my dog, let her rip him to shreds, and become a YouTube sensation when my video is featured at next week's Democratic National Convention?
Do I cut a slit where his mouth is, whip out my willy, give him the old what-what and send a picture to Todd Akin, asking if this is considered 'legitimate rape?'
Or do you have a better idea?
Please leave a comment below, telling me what I should do with Mitt. I'm using Disqus commenting now, which means you can up-vote and down-vote other comments as well.
The comment with the most up-votes by Tuesday morning (I'm taking Labor Day OFF) wins, and if it's blog-worthy, I'll show the aftermath.
You speak, I listen. Now show me what you're made of, and let's have some fun with Mitt!!
25 witty retorts:
I NEED PLUSHIE ROMNEY! I NEED HIM!
You can see everything I'll do with him here:
http://www.howmanyfrogs.com/2012/08/plushie-romney/
Here are two of the best:
9. I will take plushie Romney to the strip club and have him “make it rain”
10. And after all of this, I will send plushie Romney to Afganistan (airdrop him if possible, with a golden parachute.)
You should tie him to the hood of your car with a douchenozzle sticking out of his mouth.
I would not believe there was such a thing as a plush Mitt Romney if you hadn't taken a picture of it. Of all the unnecessary things in this world... that may be the top of the list. Maybe put it in an animal carrier strapped to the roof of your car and call him Seamus, like he did to the family dog?
I trust your judgement to do the most awesome thing you can think of with it and anxiously wait for the pics of you doing it!
...kind of like a unicorn, but not.
Yeah, so it's still sorta family-friendly.
Now that you've added letting him motorboat you as #11, you've earned my vote. :D
But.... then I'd risk ruining an animal carrier... those things aren't cheap.
So now I need to find a GW bush plushie to stick out of his mouth?
Find a nice tree branch. Put a rope around his neck and sprinkle him with honey and birdseed.
This is not a political statement. Romney likes trees (if they're the right size), birds, birdseed and honey. Just ask him.
You have earned my vote as well. Of course you would have to document all of these things with photos.
Obviously! This wouldn't be any fun without pictures!
HOLLA!
If Mitt is as absorbent as he looks, I can think of a use for him.
Please elaborate, CC. You have my attention....
Bird feeder Romney! LOVE IT!
I'm thinking: A Mitt Romney Music Video, in which you take Mitt on a variety of field trips, filming him with all types of people. You know, to showcase the high quality political "shaking hands and kissing babies" activities. Maybe take him to the unemployment office, several gay bars, a few strip clubs, a crazy party or two, a biker bar, and if possible a nude beach. Don't forget, he's got to interact with all of his constituents at these fine establishments.
Urm, sorry. Fail boat with the posting as myself. Have fun!
Like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygI-2F8ApUM
LIKE THAT! We totally need to do a Romneyquest.
Stephanie, if you win, you may get it after I do this...
Yes, like that! Only better. I think Romneyquest could be EPIC.
"Do I give him to my dog, let her rip him to shreds, and become a YouTube sensation when my video is featured at next week's Democratic National Convention?
Do I cut a slit where his mouth is, whip out my willy, give him the old what-what and send a picture to Todd Akin, asking if this is considered 'legitimate rape?'"
I love both of these ideas. You could also strap him to the roof of your car and then take a drive to canada, only stopping to hose him off when he poops all over the place :)
Wow...Mitt Romney in a claw
machine? That’s downright hilarious, disturbing and genius all at the same
time! They should have one of those at Obama headquarters! I totally suck at
claw machine games so I applaud you for your amazing expertise and for
your...um...memorable prize. :D Oh how I’d love to join in the fun and add my clever
suggestions about how to make the best use of little Mitt, but I’m afraid every
idea that comes to mind would reveal me to be not nearly as nice as most people
think I am. LOL
It's like you were fated to win him....you should take him on a series of Mormon related adventures
Yes, like the Travelosity Garden Gnome. LOL
VOTE yeah! You must win
I think that you should cut a hole in his back, insert your hand and use him as a puppet. In fact, I'd love to see Plush Romney at the debate against Invisible Obama.
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