Global warming? Meh, I don't like shoveling snow.
Polarizing government? More fun to watch than The Young and the Restless.
Zombie Apocalypse? Bring it on, I can swing a bat than Woody Harrelson any day of the week.
It's the little things that get to me. Like when my girlfriend has cereal for breakfast, doesn't drink all her milk and leaves the bowl with a small pool of milk in the sink. For days.
Or when I'm playing fetch with my dog, she gets tired of fetching and moves on, but the ball is still 'out there.' At least bring it back and tell me you're finished!
Sheesh...
I'm waiting for it to be empty so I can replace it. I don't like having a near-empty dispenser, because I don't want it running out when we have company. That would be embarrassing.
Conversely, I can't just throw it out... there's still soap in it... that would be wasteful!
It seems like it has been 'almost empty' for months now. I have no idea why, but the first 95% seems to go extremely quickly.
The last 5%, however, is almost endless.
My 5th-grade logic is kicking in, and wondering why they don't use the '5%' soap only, and fill it up all the way with the magical endless soap? I would never need to buy soap ever again!
It's brilliant!
Bath and Body Works: If you take my '5%' idea and make an everlasting-gobstopper of soap, you owe me royalties.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash the dishes before the leftover milk turns into yogurt.
13 witty retorts:
Toothpaste is the same way. Especially if you accidentally buy the one you don't like. Ah, the mysteries of the universe.
I just gave in and threw ours out because I bought more that was only $2 a bottle yesterday. I also don't like almost empty containers because I like filling things. If I had a job that only required me to stock shelves and nothing else, I'd probably love it. But no, all of those jobs require you to interact with people and I get enough of that at my real job.
And I decided I'd also like to be the breakfast lady on the weekends at a hotel. I can just fill jelly and peanut butter all morning.
The last 5% is spit. At least that's what I always said about the last sip out of a coke can.
I can relate, especially concerning toothpaste. I challenge anyone to say a tube is empty. I can always squeeze another glob out.
I have soap like that. The almost empty bottle has been there for months.
Get a cat, you'll never have left over cereal milk again. But you'll have cat vomit to clean up at the worst times.
You know you can open a new one and pour that little bit into the new right?
You and I have a very similar ocd... I can't stand things with just a LITTLE BIT left and go nuts wanting to throw it out (but can't waste it either.) Conversely, my husband HAS to leave a little bit behind (one bite of a sandwich on a plate for example) with EVERYTHING he does. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!
That would drive me crazy but I could never hold out as long as you. I'd throw it away. I do the same thing with ketchup, salad dressing - I just can't stand that minuscule bit at the bottom.
The whole leaving milk in the bowl boils my blood as well...especially when that was the last milk in the house. I have to admit I once used the wife's left over milk in her bowl to make a cup of tea....but that was a particularly bad weekend.
Ugghh.. my hubs does that with the milk. And the pasta. And the ice cream dish. And any freaking dish, really. "Putting it in the general area of the sink" is his idea of cleaning up -- and it's almost cost us our marriage a couple of times.
The soap? I can't help you with. Maybe add a tiny bit of water to it to loosen that last 5%.
Ha. I wish your last 20 bucks was like an everlasting gobstopper!
Shit she probably squirts a little extra soap from her hidden reserve in there just to drive you nuts. I would.
THROW IT OUT.
Okay, I'm going to save you from one of your biggest frustrations...simply pour that very last little bit of soap into the new foaming soap dispenser. It's so little that it won't affect the scent, and then you no longer have a nearly empty bottle driving you crazy. There.
Ok, on the milk... ew. As for the soap, you're spot-on about that. It will last forever! And don't put water in it to try and make it last! If you do, then you'll get another six or seven years out of that bad boy!
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