Lost in a Halloween Corn Maze

I recently popped my 'corn maze' cherry, which is a regular Idaho thing to do apparently.

I made it 3 years before I gave in, and the only reason I did is because:

1 - My wife begged, and

2 - We had friends to come with us.

We did the 'married couple double date' thing, and arrived at the corn maze shortly after dusk.  There were 3 paths to choose from, and we basically picked the first entrance we found.

Into the corn we went...

...and we got lost...

FOR A LONG TIME.

We started cracking corny puns, and eventually started talking about corn porn.

Similar to this

When the corn jokes started getting groans, we decided to find an exit.  We were getting restless, more than one of us had to pee, and we were getting tired of hearing the teenage kids play "Marco Polo" in the corn.

So we cheated.

We cut through the 'don't cut through here' paths, in the direction toward the exit (or so we thought).  We swathed our own path, and ended up in a completely different maze.

Stuck again.  Lost again.

The lighter started to look tempting.

BUT WAIT, WE HAVE GPS!!  So we cheated again, and after 2 hours we found an edge.  Walked down the street.  Found our cars...

And went to a bar.

This is why I can't have nice things.

 In the 21st century, eating at the dinner table is becoming a rare thing to see.  It's just my wife and I at home, and the dinner table is often used as a work-space or just a general storage shelf thing.

Lately, we've been trying to be a little more 'adult.'  We decided to eat at the dinner table tonight, since we did a lot of cleaning over the weekend and the table (and dining room) was clear.

We sat at the table, eating spaghetti (her homemade sauce is AMAZING) and discussing how we were 'responsible grown-ups.'

Her:  "You know, next we're going to be using napkins..."

Me:  "Paper or cloth?  And do we get those fancy napkin rings as well?"

Her:  "Cloth of course.  We're refined adults after all..."

We laughed, ate a little bit, and then I broke the silence...

Me:  "...maybe we should say Grace next time?"  This made her laugh because we're not exactly religious.  Instead of 'God' we sometimes substitute the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

You know, just for laughs.  He doesn't mind if you take his noodly name in vain, and a lot of non-theists (atheists, agnostics or just 'meh'-nonites in general) get a chuckle out of it.

So we start talking about how giving thanks to a deity made of spaghetti WHILE EATING SPAGHETTI was probably a little inappropriate.

(insert a few more moments of silence)

Me:  "Well, it's no more odd than the Body of Christ, right?  And much tastier than a wafer..."

AND THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.  (and why I'm cleaning spaghetti-laughter-spit from the floor)