The X-Hose - Prepare to Giggle!

I was watching TV late last night when I saw this infomercial:

I couldn't stop laughing.  I just kept thinking 'this hose is a grower, not a shower...

...just like me!'

Yes yes, Condi.  It shrinks.  You can fit a 75 foot hose in the palm of your hand!

And then turn it on, and watch it grow to full, behemoth size!

I mean, come on, how can you NOT have penis jokes with this kind of product?

I'm tempted to purchase this, just so I can say 'my hose is cooler than your hose' on a regular basis...

But then again, it's hard (hahaha) to trust anything you see on an infomercial.  Those products are usually worthless...

(and, of course, how can this NOT be my Dude Write submission for the week??)

Tales from the Hotel Room: My TV Remote Looks Like A Dildo

As always, I'm on the road...

(...I love my job...)

I'm staying at a new hotel in Southern Utah, and they have a really neat remote control.  It's called the Clean Remote:

The Clean Remote is designed to be easily disinfected, which is fantastic for a hotel room.  A study on Fitness Health 101 shows that the TV remote is one of the dirtiest areas in the hotel room (along with doorknobs and the bedside light switch).  The fact that these can be easily sanitized are a BIG plus.

Best of all, it has a 'sleep timer' button, which not all hotel remotes have.  I like to fall asleep with the TV on, but I don't want the TV on all night.  Sleep timers = Win.

However, I noticed one interesting thing:

From the back, this remote control looks like... well...

...like it should a 'vibrate' function...

Thinking about this remote control being doubled as a dildo made me wonder if they TRULY sanitized this thing before I touched it...

Luckily, I bring along plenty of hand sanitizer with me.  I shake a lot of hands on the road, and you never know who is germy or sick...

...or if the last occupants in my hotel room shoved the remote control up their ass...