Oye Como Ya, Andale Andale Mama E-I E-I Uh Oh, and all that jazz...

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!!

Cinco de Mayo completes the Holy Trinity of Drinking Holidays, which also include Mardi Gras (link) and St. Patrick's Day (link).  Of the three, Cinco de Mayo has the best food.

Before we get out the Coronas and Tequila, I'd like to share a brief history lesson and a few fun facts:

Cinco de Mayo commemorates the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army in 1862, at the battle of Puebla.  Mexico's economy was hurting, so they borrowed a lot of money from a lot of countries.  They settled their debt with the US during the Mexican-American War, but still owed money to France.

Well, they didn't like France.  Mexico decided not to pay back their debts, which pissed the Frenchies off.  France decided to name one of Napoleon's relatives, Archduke Maximilian of Austria, as Mexico's new ruler.

France invaded, and Mexico kicked their butt.  So in essence, you're not only celebrating a Mexican victory, you're celebrating a French defeat.

I fart in your general direction!

You're also celebrating Mexicans getting a multi-million-dollar credit card from France, defaulting, and then kicking their debt-collector's ass.  Which is cool, but kind of messed up.

Oh well.  Olé!

Fun Cinco de Mayo traditions around the globe include:

• Cinco de Mayo skydiving in Canada.

• An air guitar competition in the Cayman Islands, in the Caribbean Islands.

• Mexican beer drinking competition in the island of Malta, in the Mediterranean.

• The Cinco de Mayo Culture Festival in Denver, Colorado includes exhibits of Mexican music, Spanish and Latin and Tex-Mex outdoor rock music concerts.

• Douglas Park in Chicago, Illinois organizes a festival, full of musical events, snack bars and cultural displays. 

And drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.


So remember, as you drink your Dos Equis and do body-shots off that cute girl at the bar: Down with France! Kick your debt-collector's ass! And viva Mexico!!

I'll leave you with a little mariachi music, a la Pablo Francisco...

...si.

Happy Green Beer Day

St. Patrick's Day.

Another religious holiday augmented by us heathens...

Some people are told that we celebrate St. Patty's day because of Saint Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland, but that's only partly true.  The 'snakes' actually refer to pagans, and St. P was responsible for bringing mainstream Christianity to the emerald isle.

Feel slightly more educated now?  Good.  I'm done with that.  ONTO THE BEER!

St. Patrick's day, along with Cinco de Mayo and New Year's eve, is one of the famous "trinity of drinking holiday" days in the US.  This is actually funny, because 2 of the 3 holidays is celebrating another country.  Even funnier is the fact that Cinco de Mayo isn't even celebrated in Mexico, but we will cover that topic in may.

I'm still under the weather, so I won't be participating in the festivities tonight.  However, if you're going out, drink one for me.  Pub crawls, "Kiss me I'm Irish" parties, etc are going to be a big to-do tonight.

A toast!  To Christianity!  For giving us yet another excuse to drink too much, make fools of ourselves, and hook up with strange bedfellows!

I'll drink to that!

Mardi Gras and a Movie Review

Happy Fat Tuesday!

For those of you that aren't in the religious know, Mardi Gras was started by catholics as a way to "get all the sins out" before Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent.  Mardi Gras is always celebrated the Tuesday before (aka Fat Tuesday) as a way to party, drink, sing, dance, and *cough* sin until the wee hours of the morning.

Like a lot of holidays that started out as religious, the commecialist majority have evolved the holiday into their own creation.

Now Mardi Gras is about:

Boobs!  Booze!  The 'sin level' has increased steadily, and is now about breasts and sex and earning those little plastic beads.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I, like other bloggers, am tempted to shout from the rooftops "SHOW ME YER BOOBS!" to the blog world, but I know it won't be a successful endeavor.  So I looked for an alternative last night.

What I found was absurd.  And perfect.

I would like to introduce to you the best 'bad' movie on the Netflix instant play list:  Pervert!

It is a 2005 movie, made in the style of Russ Meyer B movies.  It even features this quote at the ending credits:

"What the public wants are big laughs and big tits and 

lot's of 'em.  Lucky for me, that's what I like too."

~ Russ Meyer:  1922-2004

Well said, my good chap.  Well said.

The synopsis goes like this:  While visiting his Bible-thumping yet lecherous father in the desert, randy college student James (Sean Andrews) tries everything he can to hook up with the local curvaceous cuties, but his sex quest stalls when a bloodthirsty killer targets every buxom beauty in sight. Porn star and onetime California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey stars in this lusty nod to 1960s exploitation films

Is that not just full of win?  I have two more words to add, that make this a must see movie.

Claymation Cock

Yes, spoiler alert, the killer is James' penis.  Detached and thirsty for blood.   Horrible, yet horribly priceless.

Just try to get through the first 5 minutes and the opening credits.  If you can do that, you've gotten the main gist of the movie anyway.

So there ya go.  Some silly sin for your Fat Tuesday.  If you're lucky enough to get the real stuff in your face today, bros, more power to ya.  If not, enjoy the movie.

And ladies, no offense was meant by this post.  If you're easily offended, what are you doing reading my blog in the first place??  That said... SHOW ME YER -- eh, nevermind.