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5/7/11

My twisted Mother's Day post, thanks in part to my twisted mother

I'm a day premature, but I would like to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's in my life.

To my girlfriend, who has never known the feeling of childbirth, but it still one of the best mothers out there...

To my girlfriend's mom, thank you for accepting me into your family.  I feel honored and blessed to have a new set of 'in-laws' that I can actually tolerate.

To the mother of my children, thank you for helping create two wonderful amazing boys.  We may not have worked out, but meh.  (And boys, do something nice for your mom.  Give her extra hugs and kisses tomorrow.)  *look, see?  I can be civil...*

And to my mom.

*sigh*

Where do I begin?  Be careful out there, mmmk?


A quick background on my mom.  She married my dad the day after her 18th birthday.  They dated for a while, and her dad (my Papou) did not approve.  So when she turned eighteen, they hightailed it to Las Vegas.

Mom & Dad finally split about 5ish years ago, and mom picked up where she pretty much left off.  She regressed back to the spirit of an 18 year old, and has been partying ever since.

My mom is now 49, going on 21.  She's still my ma, but it almost feels like a little sister at times.

When my ex and I were still together, her and my mom went to a "Thunder from Down Under" revue in Vegas.  According to my ex, mom got CRAZY!  I really don't want to know...  She still wants to party with my current girlfriend, but for one reason or another it hasn't happened.

Mom's dating, and dating guys my age. Or younger.


A while back, she asked me to let her borrow one of my yearbooks.  I didn't question it, and handed it over.  A few days later, when she gave it back, she said "Thanks.  I'm with this guy, and I wanted to see what he looked like when you two were classmates."

MOM!!!  REALLY!??

I really don't mind too much.  I'm happy she's living her life, but I just don't want to hear about it.  For example, we were driving around one time, and I didn't have my phone on me.  I asked to borrow hers.  When she handed it to me, she said "Just don't go digging around in it, I have some pictures in there you really don't want to see..."

MOM!!! REALLY!??

She likes to share information A LOT.  She recently was dating a guy about 5 years younger than me.  She proudly told me he was a musician.  A ROCK musician!  Then she showed me his picture...

er...
He is a one-man-band, playing mostly metal and hardcore.  He plays a bunch of instruments, and apparently just dubs one track over another.

I feel sorry for the guy.  Most musicians, you know, make friends, so they have someone to play the drums, guitar, etc.  Not this guy.  He's a one-man wolfpack.

So yeah.  There's my mom.  I love her dearly, but in lieu of flowers, I'm half-tempted to send her condoms.

Love you mama.  You kept me motivated through childhood, and pushed me to succeed.  You helped shape me into who I am today.  Sure, you're only 39 according to your myspace, and for a long time you didn't want to admit having a son as old as me.  But you know what, you did your job.  You raised me right.  Now go get your sexy on...


Happy Mother's Day, to all the moms out there.  Hot mamas included.
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