Freaky Friday: Non-pornographic Pornography

Welcome to the internet.  If you didn't already know, the internet is for porn (thank you, Avenue Q).  And the interwebs are FILLED with it.

I should know... I'm a dude...

If you search "Freaky Friday" on my blog, you will see a wide variety of weird things that people are into.  I've covered amputee fetishes, balloons in the bedroom, online trysts, and even stuffed-animal loving.

Good times.

Today I'm going to share my favorite yet.  Why?  Because this is the first one I've found that I'm actually somewhat into.

Non-pornographic porn.  Specifically the type found at Beautiful Agony.  BA specializes in vids people record of them getting themselves off.  But there's a twist.

No nudity.  No graphic images.  You typically see the person (they have both men and women) from the shoulders up.

Like this.

No nipples, no penises, no X rating at all.  Just facial expressions, moans and the like.  You get to see people at their purest, having a no-frills and no-nonsense orgasm.

Most smut online is graphic.  Extremely graphic.  The reason I like this concept is because it's a little classier than the normal fare.  You get to see people doing their thing, and an orgasm is a beautiful thing.

I love having them.  I love giving them to others.  Orgasms rock.

Bonus points, for guys who watch way too many pornos, you get to see what an actual climax looks like.  This isn't a faked "oh baby, give it to me harder" ordeal.  This is the quivering, the gasping, the facial expressions and the release that make it feel oh so good.

It can also be educational for the sexually inexperienced.  No two O's are the same.  They're like sexual snowflakes.  Just because you don't hear "oh god, oh God, OH GOD" doesn't mean the bubble didn't burst.

I'm trying to keep this post semi-safe for work (as I do for most Freaky Friday posts) but if you want to see an actual video of this, click here.  The site is ultra-NSFW, so click at your own discretion.

The first time I saw it, I didn't blink.  And for someone who looks at dirty vids from time to time, that's saying something.

It's tame.  It's not X rated.  But it's still pornography, and it's outside what could be called the norm.  While not a true blue fetish, I think it classifies. Barely.

What say you?  Weird?  Hot?  Bland?

Freaky Friday: Plushies (Not to be confused with furries)

I first heard of this phenomena in college.  I was in the university's wind ensemble (BAAAND NERRRD) and was good friends with an Oboe player.  Mainly because she was HOT and I was, well, a teenage boy.

During her single moments, she, like most women, used toys.  Except... she didn't like holding a magic wand and diddling herself... she attached it to a stuffed animal... and went to town.

"It's not all that uncommon" she would say...  "I know a lot of people with a bear or a tiger, won at a carnival, that has become a love toy...  I mean, it's no different than a man using a blow-up doll, is it???"

Not only could I not disagree with her, I was surprised how many other women I'd meet in my lifetime that would admit to this.  It may just be personal perspective, but it seems to be more women than men who do this.  Not only with a toy, but sometimes without, just to enjoy the friction.

I mean, to each their own, but I don't think I could really do that to an inanimate object... with eyes.  I could take a fleshlight and put it into a My Little Pony plushie, but... I don't think... I'd... be able to...

Just because, in my mind, I'd be boofing a pony.  Or a bear.  Or a dolphin, like the girl in the picture.

I'm not attracted to flipper... I like women...

But again, to each their own, right?

Now, I want to point out this is DIFFERENT than Furries.  Furry sex is when people dress as animals and get it on.  Like so:

What happens when you cross Bambi, Mary Poppins, and a LOT of booze???

Still odd, but these are two people.  ...sort of... in the case of the plushies, one of the pair is an inanimate object.

Going back to my college friend, she had a party at her house one day.  After a lot of drinking and shenanigans, I asked her... "Can I see it?"

"See what?"

"You know... your stuffed lover..."

She was happy to oblige.  She used a strapon to make a gigantic Winnie the Pooh be an anatomically correct Pooh Bear... by the way, did you know Winnie is really black underneath that fur?  And HUNG?  Neither did I...

What's funny is my vivid imagination coupled with this fetish.  I think about Toy Story... what if the stuffed toys are really ALIVE?  Do they enjoy the bump and grind?  Do they crave a cigarette afterward?

I bet they would...

Was it good for you, baby??

Freaky Friday: Balloon Lovers a.k.a. Looners (squeaky squeak...)

I was reading a post last month over at Sex N Fries about these people, and I instantly had a new favorite fetish.

what a, erm, pair...

I'm talking about people who incorporate balloons into the bedroom.  Looners, as they like to be called, use balloons in various forms of coitus.  For example, using it as something to prop your partner on top of...

According to wikipedia as well as loonervision (warning, NSFW), the thrill of balloons can come in different ways.  Some people live for the 'pop' while others love the sounds the balloons make when rubbing up against other objects.

The 'poppers' like to inflate the balloon until it pops, or use a sexy object to pop the balloon during points of the sexual experience.  Stiletto heels, their lover, or just a needle can be used to pop the object.  Just as long as it's done in an erotic manner.  Non-poppers, however, keep the balloon inflated at all times during sex, and use it more as an environmental prop instead of directly involved in the act.

Wikipedia also mentions that most fetishes have a basis in phobias.  Psychologists have done some minor research in fetishes to see if they spawn from childhood fears.  For example, with Looners, the sound of a balloon's explosion may spark a sort of 'fight-or-flight' mentality, and that adrenaline rush is now seized as an orgasmic enhancement.

All I know is this:  If I'm in the bedroom with my girl, and I pop a balloon in her face when she's close to climax, I'm getting my ass kicked.  And I probably won't be getting any for a while...

Source: Loonervision

There may be benefits to using large inflatables like Yoga Balls or wedges in the bedroom (angles and such...) but balloons by themselves don't really do it for me.  Maybe if I were a part-time circus clown, things would be different.

I'd like to consider myself to be pretty open and adventurous when it comes to trying out new things, but I'm not getting a sexy vibe from balloons.  Roleplay?  Sure.  A little S&M?  When done right... Balloon animals?  Doesn't seem like the time or the place.  I understand the feeling of the rush people get when they hear the explosion, but there are other ways to get that same adrenaline kick.  Public places, for example...

What say you, oh peanut gallery?  While this subject fascinates me (from an outside perspective) I just don't see the sexual draw to this.  Do any of you see this as remotely sexy?  Do you like adding an adrenaline rush into your sexual escapades?  If so, how?  I always love hearing from you.

In the meantime, please enjoy this video from Durex condoms.  While not incredibly sexy, it's still a damn funny vid to watch.  PLUS it's full of 'sexy' balloon sounds...

Two-Part Thursday

I've been on and off sick for the past few days.  Because of this, I'm going to keep things short and sweet today.   Also, happy St. Patty's day!  I'm green because I'm ill, so no pinching.

I am asking all of you to do me a BIG favor and start following Thank, Q for Common Sense for two reasons...

1)  His posts are fantastic, and he is an amazing blogger.  Your wit will be sharpened, and your funny bone will be tickled.

2)  Selfish reason.  Remember that blogging contest I mentioned?  Well, it's on his site.  In order for me to win, I need votes.  Your votes.  Which means you need to be following his blog to know when the face-to-face matchups are.

I thank you in advance, my wonderful followers.



PART TWO of the post, and this is the obligatory sillyness.

I'm thinking of doing a recurring theme of "Fun Fetish Fridays."  Maybe not every week, but every once in a while.

Two things inspired this.  The music vid I posted a few weeks back from Grum:

It mocks fetish vids by creating a food fetish music video.  Girls gorge on donuts, beans, spaghetti etc in a 'bow-chicka-wow-wow' fashion.

The next thing that inspired me was this picture:

For some reason, the term 'pankakke' comes to mind when I see this.

So the first fun fetish I present to you (yes, I know it's not Friday) is Pankakke.  The gratification of wearing a pancake on your face.

Pankakke can be enjoyed in public, since no vital body parts are exposed.  However, pankakke can be transitioned into the bedroom.  Feel free to get creative with the maple syrup.

If your family is into it, you can easily have group pankakke sessions, without having to worry about doing anything illegal or immoral.

What do you think?  Is it worth doing something goofy like this to mix things up?  Let me know.

Oh, and don't forget to join Q's blog!  NAO!