So I Guess I Have 99 Problems

I was pulled over by a cop the other day.

And it made me feel like Jay Z.

Because that's how I roll.

This isn't my first post about run-ins with the law, but this is the first one that I instantly deemed blog-worthy. Once I explain what went down, you'll understand why...

I am riding with my boss this week, visiting key accounts and seeing what my strengths/weaknesses are (weaknesses?  NONE.  I am a certified badass).  That, and he likes to make himself seen with the big boys, just in case I'm not always around.  Better to build two relationships than one...

So we're in South Idaho driving to Boise, when he needs to get something out of the back seat.  He unbuckles, flips around and starts to dig, when I see a cop hiding behind a median strip.  Cop sees me before I see him.  I say "cop" and boss-man turns around, but I can already see the patrol car pulling onto the freeway to pursue us.

The patrol car eventually turns on his lights and we pull over.  After a few minutes of letting us sweat, he swaggers out of the car, and I SWEAR he reminded me of Deputy Dangle from Reno 911.

I roll down the window and he introduces himself.  And then he says:

"I pulled you over because I clocked ya going 81 in a 75 zone.   Took me a while to finally catch up with you..."

Because I was speeding like a bat out of hell.... 81.... I'm such a badass, setting the cruise-control so high.

He starts asking questions, like where we're coming from, where we're going to, why  is the backseat so full (suitcases, laptop bags and some sales samples), and what was in the trunk.  When I explained we were a couple of pet food salesmen, he seemed confused and asked what we meant.  We used small words to get across.  Just for good measure, he took my boss' ID as well, to make sure we weren't wanted drug-smugglers or something.

He went back to the patrol car, and the boss and I are snickering.  First of all, 6mph over and he's acting like we're speed demons?  And the cop seemed a little.... slow.

When he came back, he hands us back our licenses and lets me go with a warning.  As a nice gesture, I want to thank him.  I ask him if he has any pets, because I have a trunk full of freebies and I had no problem giving him something as token of my gratitude.

He looks me straight in the eyes, and says "nope, don't have any pets.  I only got a dog."

....um.... ok.  Nevermind.  Thank you, sir.  Have a good evening, sir.

Now, I have a LOT of respect for Law Enforcement, and have a few cop friends.  I don't want this to come across as a 'cops are stoopid' post.

But this guy?

This guy was a little dim.

Ok, maybe more than just a little.

We were 45 minutes from Boise at that point, and were laughing the rest of the way.  This is a story my boss will never forget, and will never let me live down.  When we checked into our hotel, he jokes to the receptionist "You know, this isn't the first time he's had to show his ID today..." and tells the story.

Later, at the bar, same thing.

When he gets back into the home-office, I'm sure it will be story-time once again...

Thank you, officer.  You made my day.  You made my boss' day.  And now, I'm never going to hear the end of this.

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