And I can't stand salesmen.
Let me rephrase... I can't stand people in sales position who have no idea what the fuck they're doing.
You see, when I visit my customers I build a relationship, help them grow their business overall, and then grow my slice of the pie.
In that order. It's not quick, but it's highly effective.
If I came out the gate going "You need THIS AND THIS AND THIS ANDDON'TFORGETABOUT..." I would get nowhere.
Yet, when you walk around the mall, this is what you're bombarded with.
The girlfriend and I went shopping the other night, and we started playing a game. It's called "how far can you get into the store before being harassed by an associate?"
...it's a working title...
We would vocalize the 'score' whenever we got asked, much to the confusion of the people working there. We'd exclaim "3 feet!" or "12 feet!" depending on how far we would get. If we made it to the back of the store uninterrupted, we would celebrate.
It was awesome.
Two stores really bothered me. One was a major department store, where the old bat working the ladies' clothing section would verbally assault my girlfriend. If she were looking at a pair of jeans, the associate would jump in, saying "you know those shoes over there would look great with those jeans. So would this jacket, and let me go get you a blouse!" I had to intervene and get my girl out of there, before that old lady got punched.
Next was a smaller store, but same attitude. Instead of upselling clothes, it was the rewards program. You give them your email, 20% off. Phone number? Another 10%. If you sign over your soul (in blood, of course) you get an astounding 80% off!!
It inspired me to invent something you're going to LOVE.
I am working on creating a "Go the FUCK Away" hat to be worn while shopping. If you don't want help, but get tired of saying "no thank you" a hundred times, this product is for you.
Expect a prototype version by early summer.
This hat will stand out, and have a polite message stating "don't bother me" to any salesman you encounter. This hat can be worn in:
- A department store
- A car lot (highly recommended)
- A farmer's market (no, I DON'T want to sample your sausage, you dirty dirty man...)
- and many more places
And will convey its message in a 360-degree radius. Even if they sneak up behind you, the message of "thanks but no thanks" will come across loudly. Granted, this isn't a product designed to attract women, but I think it could be an interesting conversation starter...
Thoughts? Would you buy one of these? Tell your friends and share this post, as I may be looking for some Venture Capital...