Why I Refuse to Drink at Company Functions

I'm in Washington right now, at my quarterly sales meetings for work.  I fly in, we strategize and meet with vendors for 3 days, and we are treated to nice dinners on two nights.  The dinners are hosted by certain VIP vendors, and usually involve expensive steak houses and open bars.

And, thanks to a lesson I learned in 2003, I don't drink a drop of alcohol at these events.

I have been in the pet industry for 10 years.  There is an event called SuperZoo, which is the mecca for the western US.  My first SuperZoo ever, I got trashed.  And I'm talking BAD.

Night 1 was ok.  I had about 3-4 drinks over the course of the evening, and it wasn't a big deal.  Night 2 is when all hell broke loose.  My company was at a dinner, hosted by our #2 manufacturer.  At social hour, I had 2 jack and cokes.  With dinner, the VP of the mfr ordered $600 bottles of wine, so I felt obligated to try it (no regrets there, it was orgasmic).  After the meal, the Junior VP starts ordering shots of Patron Silver for the table.

3....  4.... 5.... 6.... people started getting wasted....

Then, one of the waiters brought out the most exquisite bottle of booze I've ever seen.  By that time, Jr VP and I were best buds, and he slurs to me,

"Dude, this is Louis the XIII.  The BEST cognac you've never had.  One bottle runs for $1,500..."

And then the glasses are poured.  It was heavenly (from what I remember).

Over the course of a 4 hour dinner (a $100 steak, no less) I had at least 11-12 drinks in me.  And I wasn't alone.  Over half of us stammered out of that restaurant and into cabs.

I was blitzed, but I have this "sheep herder" mentality, so I made sure all the females got into their cabs ok, and got to their rooms without passing out or anything.  Once I got into my own room, however, the vertigo kicked in.

....I don't remember much else....

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