This usually means a lot of blogging about mormons.
Well, I do have a few mormon friends, and one of them has agreed to do a guest post for me.
Her topic? Ask a mormon.
This is your chance to ask a willing member of the LDS Church anything. She has a good sense of humor, so this could be fun.
There are no limits, but try not to be too douchey about the questions. No "what is wrong with you" or "cultish" stuff, just curious questions you have about the church.
Like here's mine:
"Any Christian, or anyone who has seen The Ten Commandments movie knows the story of the golden calf and the 'graven images' commandment. Yet, on every temple, there is a golden statue of the angel Moroni. Why isn't this considered to be a graven image or false idol?"
This is something I'd actually like to know, because you see those little golden trumpeters a lot in the Idaho/Utah area.
So, ask away by leaving a comment below! You can comment anonymously if you like, and I'll get the questions to my Mormon friend when we have a good amount! Expect her response in the days/weeks to come.
27 witty retorts:
I must admit that I don't know much about the Mormom religion, so please forgive my ignorance. I did have some Mormon friends, before they moved to another state and always found their practice of stock piling food quite interesting. They also don't drink alcohol because it's against their religion, but they were always quite happy to be our DD and never appeared to be judgmental when we were all crazy drunk asses. But, what's up with the no caffeine thing? My Mormom friend said her Mountain Dew habit was the one "sin" she just couldn't give up.
I may have religions confused, but why does every mormon church I pass have NO WINDOWS!? No matter where I am, no matter how large or small the little "kingdom halls" have no freakin windows. Why would you want to worship in hiding?
Okay, my question is this: What's this I hear about Mormon underpants? You know, the special and possibly magic ones that protect you from evil? Is this a commonplace belief among Mormons, and what does the typical Mormon think about these?
My reworded comment/question: I was raised in the LDS religion and left the church many years ago. Although I am no longer affiliated with the church and I no longer believe in all of the doctrine, it is the subculture that I come from and some of my friends and family, people I love, are active members. Ironically, I often find myself defending the church to people I meet who call themselves "Christian". I don't mind answering questions about the Mormon church, but I have repeatedly experienced "Christians" telling me that the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is not a Christian faith. When I explain that the Mormons actually are Christians, these people argue and insist that I grew up non-Christian. I don't know where they are getting this false information, but they are so insistent that I'm inclined to think they might be learning to hate the Mormons in their churches. My question is, "How do you deal with this?" Here's a link to an interview I saw recently, an example of what I am talking about.
http://www.mofopolitics.com/2011/10/08/anderson-cooper-interviews-pastor-robert-jeffress-the-guy-who-called-mormonism-a-cult/
Brandini. OK, once more for emphasis. Mormon- one little "m" from the truth".
Whenever I see the Mormons around my area they are always riding their bikes and looking completely clean in their white shirts. My question is, with all that riding around how do they stay so clean?
I don't know anything about this to be able to ask a question. Maybe I'll research and then come back. Or, maybe I'll just wait for her post and find out about it then... yes... that's a good idea...
I don't know enough about it to even ask a question but I know this. I have lived next to 3 different mormons in my life. Two in New Mexico and one in North Carolina. And all of them were the best neighbors we ever had. By far the nicest and most helpful. I look forward to reading the interview!
are mormons freaks in the sack?
OK OK OK, I'm having fun with this too.
If you go on craiglist and search "LDS" on the casual encounters section, you find a lot of married mormons looking to hook up.
With fellow mormons, you know, to keep it in the church. Heathen dick in their butt is nasty, but it's ok when it's a brother...
I know it's a generic question, but WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? And do you personally know any mormon 'swingers?' or is this just an isolated thing?
This may be me mixing up the LDS church with that of Jehovah's Witnesses so I guess it's two-part. Do you guys celebrate the major holidays? If so, ok, nevermind it's the JW's I'm thinking of. If not, why not?
Have you gotten to deal with those people who try to knock your beliefs down using their forms of logic? And if so, is it just as annoying, or would you (or Mormons in general) consider yourself to handle that differently than other religions?
I just found your blog via a comment on 300poundsdown.com and I am sooo glad I checked out your site. I have been living in fear for the past 1 1/2 that I was going to be forced to move to Idaho Falls for my spouse's job. I was soo stressed about it that I actually ground all of the enamel off of my 4 back molars while sleeping. I thought I was going to have to pay for private school for my kids so they wouldn't be outcasts (which I have heard is a huge issue there) Recently we found out that things have been put on a delay so we probably won't move. YAY! I was out there last year and other than the actual falls I didn't see anything but mormon temples everywhere- which give me the creeps. I lived in WA for several years surrounded by mormons and when I would walk in their house I felt an overwhelming evil presence. I couldn't shake it. I am going to start reading your blog from the beginning. I can't wait to see what you have posted. As for the question- I have heard numerous times that when a couple who is high up in the mormon church gets married they go into a room with the preacher and strip naked and get married naked. Is this true? Because if so, I think it is super duper strange. Also- why have the mormon scriptures changed repeatedly over the years. It is like every so many years they are updated and changed. I know that this has happened- and I want to know why- because if they are supposedly true then why would they need to be changed? Also- what is the deal with the password that you supposedly get when you get married- isn't it supposed to help you find your spouse in heaven? What if your spouse dies and you remarry- do you get another password?
I dont know much about mormons, but I wanted to ask this question to all those religious fanatics.
One of my Christian friends asked me this "how do you tolerate gays?"
This is my response, "as long as they dont knock my door, and disrespect me and my orientation and ask me to ask for forgiveness for my lifestyle and principles in a condescending tone and ask me to donate and dedicate my life to the homosexuality and my life savings and go to gayparade and ask me to participate in gay orgies and RAPE me - I can "tolerate" them totally well.
By whom should I be offended the most - religion rapists or homosexuals?
@Anon: If you do end up in Idaho Falls, look me up. I can be found from time to time at The Villa Coffeehouse downtown. Ask for Brandon, and they'll point you my way. I could always use more 'allies' in this town.
Keep the comments coming! My Mormon friend is frantically writing... this should be fun!
I guess everyone has seen the Mormon "underpants" but it's not really underpants. The garments that are to be worn under clothes. Do all Mormons use this and what's the deal?
According to Mormons, why are we here? What's the point of life?
Here's my question: How do you feel about the things that Brandon writes about Mormons? Do you find the things he says to be accurate? Off-base? Hilarious? Offensive? Perfectly dead-on?
My second question is Bart's. Even though he is a troll, I found this one to be funny as well as something I have always wondered.
I grew up in the Boise area so I know a little more than the average person about the Mormons, and even visited a ward a couple of times. One thing I can't understand is what your view of salvation is all about. It seems like you have to work and perform all sorts of things before you are able to enter the highest celestial kingdom. And what's up with all the different levels of heaven?
Been in the heart of LDS country for almost 40 years, married to one nearly as long. When they wanted me to join up,I said I'd do my own research. That ended with the Mrs. leaving the faith. Her family is real active though.
There are a lot of skeletons in their dogma and history, but most all the people are regular Joe's just like everyone else. The LDS faith is so structured that they keep people on the straight and narrow by default. Nuff Said !
So glad you linked up so I could stumble across your FUNNY blog and read some of your posts.
I have many questions for Mormons. Once I dated a Mormon (they are all so darn good-looking, aren't they? How do they do that?) Yeah that is my question - how come they all have perfect teeth? Are there any Goth-Mormons? Also, on a more serious note - my ex who was a good-looking Mormon had a falling out w. his parents because he went outside in 90 degree LA heat to play b-ball in a tank top - meaning - he wasn't wearing his church-approved undies - and they had a cow.
This scene nearly did him in. He was so torn between Mormon life and regular American culture (or lack thereof). The underwear thing really seemed to not be a good thing. Got any thoughts on the undies front? Is it ok to wear just a b-ball top - or not?
Brandon- I will totally look you up if I am forced to move there. Thanks for the info. While we were there on our pre-possible house hunting trip we ran by the local christian church (down from Red Robin) and they were FULL of good info. They told us which school to avoid- which areas to not buy houses, etc. It was awesome. Of course it made me cringe and want to run for the plane as fast as possible. When my kids talk about the trip they talk about the Cool Windmills and the BBQ place where we ate several times- that is all. What I remember is the "post office" where I had to mail something. I think it was like a movie rental place too- all I know is that the guys who were behind the counter looked like total pot-heads. I said- "Um is this the post office?" "Yeah- it is- they aren't open now (and he motions to the wall where there was a postal counter and supplies) but you can put your card in the slot under the Velvet Elvis." So I look on the wall and sure enough there is a picture of Elvis and the slot is below it- and it clearly worked because the person got my letter. I left there thinking- WTF. Did I just go into the twilight zone? I couldn't stop laughing. I told my husband we were going to have to stand outside that store and make friends with the people that go in there because they clearly aren't mormon! I have never laughed soo hard in my life. Oh and by the way- the Red Robin and Outback Steakhouse totally sucked- I had to write up horrible reviews for them on travel advisor. That town is totally lacking in a bunch of great restaurants. We asked about pools and other kid friendly normal stuff to do- and it was like she was stumped. She finally came up with one pool name but other than that she said we would have to drive out of town. Now the postive thing would have been to be soo close to JAckson Hole and also Yellowstone, etc. That would have been great- but would NOT have overridden all of the snow and mormons- nothing can trump that! Good luck to you- and I will SOOOO look you up if we have to move because good lord- I am going to need normal people to talk to or I might totally flip out.
We don't get married naked. The changes to the scriptures have been foot notes and things.
I don't know of any password and I got married in the Idaho falls temple.
On the topic of our Underwear: Take, for example, a Catholic Priest. He wears clerical collar that reminds him of the covenants he has made with the Lord, that separate him from the rest of the world. Likewise, we do the same. But because we are not paid for our work in the church, and earn our income from outside jobs, we wear them under our regular clothing as undergarments. You can think of it like this: You won't find Priest wearing his white collar while working at Walmart - it would be inappropriate. We feel the same. Now the undergarments are there to direct our thoughts to the Lord, thus protecting us from temptations. That's as magical as they come. I hope this helps.
As for getting nude to marry, that his hilarious and false. The groom is dressed nice in a tie and the bride in a dress... This is for everyone.
All of the questions can be answered on Mormon.org
P.S.
The whole no window thing, That is Jehovah's Witness. They are also the ones who do not celebrate holidays.
thanks for all this information... i really find out a lot about Mormons
Uniform Dating UK
Okay so I would like to know if mormans are violent people. We live in Lebanon Oregon. Our neighbors who claim they are are quite confrontational with us and our friends who they forced out of our neighborhood, they are so scared of the mormans they didnt want us to visit for a while fearing that the morman neighbors would follow us to their new home! We feel very unsafe or at least I do when my husband is at work. They spread false rumors around about us and others. What can I do about this or anything? Because they say that they represent their church when they do these horrible things! Is this normal or are they just mentally ill?
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