For example, a lot of my High School and College friends I would call "gay" were actually straight, while the ones that didn't get called names actually were.
I try not to use that phrase as a derogatory term anymore. I've grown up. But a lot of people still do. And, in Idaho Falls (remember, 20 years behind the rest of the nation) it's the mid-90's and things are still "gay" in this town.
This is a PSA I saw late one night on TV. Wanda Sykes nails it, when she tries to get some kids to stop saying things are gay:
So, kids, stop using 'gay' as a descriptor for dumb and stupid things. It's insulting, and you never know who's feelings you're going to hurt.
However.... if something is truly gay... it's still ok. For example:
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| Man + Banana = Borderline Gay Overtones... |
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| Bravo Network? Totally gay. But that is deliberate. |
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| Over-manscaping, or over-plucking your eyebrows? FAAAAABULOUS!! |
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| Puffy Shirts are kind of gay... unless you're a pirate. Or in the 19th century. |
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| Lesbian hipsters are totally gay. But they're lesbians, so duh... |
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| And Pro Wrestling? I mean, COME ON.... |
So what do you think? Can we be done using 'gay' in the wrong context? It's so much more fun using it correctly...
27 witty retorts:
I agree with your points, for sure. I have been known to say it, I'm sure of it, but I'm trying to use LAME instead. I'm sure those who are actually lame won't mind too much, right?
Agree. And also I want Wanda to come into my class on call to tell my kids to Knock it Off.
I have to say here, if "that's so gay" really means what it is meant to say - Dharun Ravi - the juvenile charged and labelled as a homophobe and expecting 10 years in prison is a "Frisbee" player - anything gayer than that?
Doesn't Wanda sound so badass when she says 'knock it off!'?
I'm in agreement with this too. Don't stop saying it, just use it in the right context. The wife and I love to say that to her gay brother when he's out with his boyfriend and they get all cozy with each other. "God, you guys are so GAY." They find it hilarious.
pro wrestling may be gay but its fake gay. if that makes any sense. lol.
One of my very best friends is gay and for fun we use this term to describe things one another. It's all in fun though. Cracks me up when he uses the F word to describe another gay guy though.
THANK YOU! I've always hated that phrase and I've never used it. However, I've kept quiet with others did say it - which may be just as bad. Just when I thought we were moving forward I moved to Oklahoma where being gay is a big deal and calling someone gay can be a pretty serious insult. I think I'll start referring people to Wanda's video.
I had a 14 year old tell me the other day that something was gay. I looked at him with disgust and before I could say a word he said, "that means it is uncool"
My response, "Young man, if you do not have the intelligence or vocabulary to properly describe things, nor the couth to understand that I am your elder and smarter than you give me credit for, then you need to depart my residence and never place your shadow on my doorstep again."
At this point my daughter defends the young man and I came unhinged on her.
It is time to use a human vocabulary and stop being lazy!
www.sweetydarlin.blogspot.com
MEH. I'm over it. I'm over everyone being so PC and overly sensetive.
Sometimes shit is gay. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I just wish people would buck the fuck up and stop being such whiny little pussies about everything. Lighten the fuck up already.
As a child of the 70s, we used "that's so dorky." But, I guess we offended too many dorks? I suppose nowadays we should just say, "that's so Bieberish."
As someone who is a stickler for saying things in the right context, I agree.
-Barb the French Bean
I don't hear people say it as much as I used to, but we're pretty laid back up here in MA. I mean, we actually allow EVERYONE to get married up here in our great state after all.
Aw I love this! I've never seen that Wanda Sikes PSA either. Thanks for you posting!
Stuff like this always bothers me a bit.
I had this conversation with my husband recently. Not so much about the "that is so gay" phrase, because mostly we do use that in the correct context, but about other derogatory terms that we use without thinking. Hate for a group is learned (racism, sexism, etc) and we have young children. Living in Idaho, I struggle to raise color blind children who see people for who they are not what color they are, who they date, or what they believe.
I only use it in context because the irony is awesome. If people around me say "that's gay" a lot I wait for a serious homosexual moment and say it myself. I always get stared at for some reason.
I also believe that all 'anti' ads should have some comedy in them. On purpose. Wanda Sykes right there? NAILS IT SO WELL
I've used "that's gay", though not often, and I'm pretty sure that I've always used it in correct context. Like the other day, my brother said that if Jupiter dangled his cock out of the sky, he would stop what he was doing and look. I told him "that's gay".
Ooops I still say things are gay... I can't help it. I'm not being mean though :)
Hilarious. And so true. I had to make a conscious effort to stop referring to something lame as being gay. Really, for me I always thought of the word as a homonym. I never associated something "being gay" with homosexuality. Still, once I looked at it from an outsider's perspective, I could see their point.
Can we just go back to using "gay" to describe being happy? I mean, the "Gay Nineties" was not referring to a decade of homosexuality....
I have nothing to add - but did enjoy the post. And yes, it's much more fun to use gay in the proper sense.
Saying everything is gay is just juvenile. It reminds me of a time when my obnoxious little brother would proclaim everything gay that he didn't like. Language is so fun, why not think up a more descriptive word?
When I taught Middle School. kids would say it all the time, it drove me crazy! We are doing a much better job teaching our kids about race issues and words offensive to different races than we are to kids that have a different sexual orientation.
ohhhh Wanda makes me so happy :) Just hearing her voice makes me smile!
Thanks for posting that video, I hadn't heard of it.
And yes- saying "that's so gay" in the wrong way is something that needs to stop.
Great blog.
I totally agree and I remember that episode with Wanda. I have to admit, I grew up in the 90s and in a small town so i heard this phrase SOOO much and then I moved to SF and became so much more sensitive to it and I really like that you talked about this because it's just not okay. Great post
~Dale
Thank you for that. (disturbing wrestling pic aside)
I'm with Emme. That wrestling photo kind of bothered me a bit. I keep smelling things that aren't there.
The GAY community brought on this expressive statement by their actions which by and in large are exceedingly over the top and outrageous Out loud and proud? Now they need to embrace benefits of being loud and proud. It is after all what they wanted. To shove their gayness into everybody's faces.
GAY, over the top - outrageous, is just that...so gay!!
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