If you're a Nintendo fan, you probably know about a new Mario release on the 3DS. You probably also know Mario is famous for wearing different 'suits' in his games, including penguin costumes, 'fire spitting' suits, and a Tanooki costume.
A Tanooki costume helps mario fly, as well as bash enemies with his tail.
However, PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals) takes offense to Mario's use of the poor Tanooki, and has created an awesome website showing their outrage.
At Mario Kills Tanooki, you see Mario as the ruthless killer he is, slaughtering poor tanookis and wearing their skins for malicious purposes.
Yet, they're fine with him stomping sentient Mushrooms (aka: Goombas) to his heart's content. After all, mushrooms aren't animals, so it must be ok to murder THEM in cold blood, right??
Or, just go there to play their video game. It's actually kind of difficult. Difficult like the old NES games of the 80's (Battletoads, anyone???)
In the game, you're a sad skinned Tanooki, chasing mario to claim your skin back. If you can get past the fact you're playing a bloody fictitious animal, it's actually kind of fun.
Other fun games on PETA's site include Super Tofu Boy and Super Chick Sisters. What I'd love to see is "Save the Lorax from Gucci Mama's Wrath." Just saying.
So yes, PETA. You caught my attention. I think you guys are fucking crazy, and I'll be glad to eat KFC in front of you while saying that, but you made a entertaining website, and a damn-fun game to play.
And I'm talking about you, which is kind of what you were aiming for. It's all about the publicity, right???
***SIDE NOTE***
I'll be on the Talk 2 Q radio show tonight! Go HERE for more into, and to get information on tuning in! I have no clue what we're talking about, so expect a free-for-all in randomness!
13 witty retorts:
That was great and you get huge points for throwing out a Battletoads reference.
There's so much else to be angry about in life and in that game. Like that he's a slightly racist Italian caricature, the whole sale slaughter of that the villains are turtles (whose carcasses he uses to throw at man eating flowers), or just the lazy writing that leads to him being named "Mario Mario" (yeah, it's his first and last name).
Protecting animals is a noble cause, but when you jump on protesting cartoons for slaughtering non-existent cartoon animals, you've lost the narrative.
Oh, fun fact, the founder of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk, has admitted to personally killing thousands of dogs (PETA kills 90% of the companion animals they take in, failing to adopt them). But yeah, cartoon animals are important to protect.
I'm going to come up with a game where the hero is "Publicity" who is avoiding capture by the evil "Attention Whore."
I'm all for protecting animals but PETA is crazy and has been for like ever. Thats why when I donate to causes I do the humane society instead
Wow... just wow... PETA what the hell? Way to ruin my childhood. lol.
WTF?!?! Ok, I'm strict vegetarian. Been veggie for 19 years. I was even vegan for 6 of those years. Seriously, the PETA people are f-ing nuts. They take themselves WAY too seriously.
Oh, PETA, you're at it again, you crazy bastards.
So I went from this game, to a super mario chicken game, to a video about how mcdonalds abuses chickens, to a video showing horrible cow murder. And now I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I blame you! hehe I love meat, but now I'm gonna have to wait a week or two. :/ bleh.
Why didn't they get all defensive when I was snapping dog heads on Modern Warfare 2?
And what kind of counter is this? They're upset about Mario, so they put him in a blood dripping wing outfit (badass) and have me chasing after him? Uhm, thanks! It was AWESOME. But it's so short, that all it makes me want to do is go get a Mario game. I'm pretty sure that wasn't their intention.
This could create a terrifying precident for video games everywhere, beginning with Duck Hunt (since we are on the topic of the 80s NES).
Bizarre.
Now I want to play Battletoads. Also, PETA is just straight up crazy. I swear they get crazier every year. I still remember last year's "sea kittens" campaign: a website designed to brainwash children by telling them "would you still eat a fish if it was called a sea kitten?" It has extremely morbid, illustrated 'kid' stories about 'Terry the tuna' who is a happy fish until she gets trapped in a net, hauled onto a boat, and decapitated by fishermen.
God I hate PETA. I'm gonna go eat the biggest hamburger I can find in their honor.
Oh, I hate that fucking Lorax! And I hate PETA. I have hate in my heart. Hate hate hate.
SO not a PETA fan. I wish to make them super rare bloody meat and watch them eat it. Maybe I would just serve it raw. Lock them in a room with it. They will get hungry enough.
Why do I see them becoming a certified religion one day?
I think wearing fur is indeed evil. How can one live with himself knowing that an animal has been killed for some fashion item?
But PETA is taking this way too far. Mario's suit does not look like fur at all. It looks like a one-piece jumpsuit and Nintendo already said it too; Mario wears different jumpsuits of animals. Not of real animals, but... just dressing up like an animal. That doesn't look like fur! I didn't even notice that it could be compared to fur.
Based on dumb calamities like Tanooki Kills Mario (NOT the other way around!) and TWO Super Chick Sisters episodes, the animal-crazy goofballs at Psychopathic Evil Thugs for Animals cannot and should not do video games!
People Eating Tasty Animals: The village idiot of animal advocacy since 1980
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