Assimilation - I am almost completely 'da ho'

In April, my car's registration tags expired, and I died a little inside when I switch my license plates from California to Idaho.

It meant I was becoming more and more like them...

Now, I have transitioned a little more into becoming a full-fledged Idahoan:  I now have an Idaho driver's license.

Technically my California one didn't expire until 2015, but apparently you're supposed to get a new one when you become a resident of a different state.

...within the first 60 days... and I moved here in 2010...

Oops, my bad.

Well, I have it now, so if I get pulled over I'm safe.  Oddly enough, my timing was perfect.  They used to print the licenses at the actual DMV, and you'd have your new plastic in minutes.  In late 2011, Idaho went to a 'new, safer' form of ID and it ended up being mailed to me after 2 weeks.

The old ones looked like the fake ID I had back in High School.  It was pretty pitiful.

So, to be a good sport about the whole thing, I thought I'd post my DL picture here.  License pictures are never pretty, and this is no exception. The camera adds 10lb, and I think they had 4 or 5 pointed at me...

And this picture reminds me why I wear glasses instead of contacts...

With my car and my DL being Idaho now, the only think keeping me recognizable as a former Californian is my phone.  I'm still sporting a 909 area code, and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon...

Watch Your Tweets - US Bans Two UK Friends Over Joking Tweets

Once again proving you don't fuck with 'Murrica, two UK friends have been barred from entering the country because of some joking tweets they said prior to their trip.

According to this article from The Sun, Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting were detained when they reached LAX because of twitter posts regarding 'destroying America' and digging up Marilyn Monroe's grave.

According to the report, DHS and TSA agents actually looked through Van Bryan's bag, looking for spades and shovels to thwart his attempt to dig up the famous celebrity's grave.

What.... the fuck....

I'm sorry, DHS.  I know you're trying to protect us citizens and all, but where is your sense of humor?  Besides that, what terrorist tweets "I'm going to blow up the La Brea Tar Pits in a week" or other BS like that?

If it didn't mean getting shot on sight, I'd take a backpack, stuff it with packing peanuts, and throw it randomly in a public place, yelling "FOR ALLAH" in protest.  You know, just for laughs...

The statement from the DHS, which can be found on the above link, states:

"During secondary examination, Mr. BRYAN was placed under oath and his sworn statement was taken by CBP Officer Wahmann, Mr. BRYAN confirmed that he posted on his Tweeter website account that he was coming to the United States to dig up the grave of Marilyn Monroe.  Also on his tweeter account Mr. BRYAN posted that he was coming to destroy America."

I'm sorry, but TWEETER?  This is the same government that is trying to pass laws like SOPA and PIPA, regulating the internet that they don't even understand.  And 'destroy' doesn't always mean a terrorist act.  For example, my friends and I destroyed the local nightclub on my 30th birthday.  And I destroyed your mom last night in bed while your dad was at work.

...true story...

I applaud the job DHS is doing with trying to keep terrorists from killing us all, but please learn to see through the sarcasm.  Detaining these two people for 12 hours and sending them back home was overreacting.  At the very least, I hope our government is apologizing, refunding these two for any costs incurred, and paying for their return trip as an apology, ON OUR DIME.

And screw it.  Give them a couple of shovels too.  If they wanna dig Marilyn Monroe up, let them.

An Open Letter to Non-Cursers

'Son of a biscuit.'

'Shizz.'

'What the heck.'

'Freak this.'

Do you hear these often?  I do.  I live in an area where the majority thinks cursing is a bad bad thing, so they find creative ways to do it.  In essence, it's still cursing, but they're using different words.

So, what is wrong with the words 'Fuck' and 'Shit?'  If you read any article pertaining to the FCC and why you can't say certain words on television, it's because of their meaning and intent.

Taken from an article of the NY Times:

"The commission has, for instance, said that swearing in “Saving Private Ryan,” the Steven Spielberg war movie, was not indecent, while swearing by blues masters in a music documentary produced by Martin Scorsese was indecent. Nudity in “Schindler’s List,” another Spielberg movie, was allowed, but a few seconds of partial nudity in “NYPD Blue” was not."

But if you're saying "mother freaker" instead of "motherfucker," is the intent still not there?  Aren't you simply cursing, but with different words?  Vulgar vs non-vulgar use of certain words create a blurry line.  Doesn't the same apply when you leave the vulgarity and intent there, but use a different word?

And this is where I get confused, since the people doing this are of a certain "M" religion... doesn't the bible say if you sin in your heart/mind it is just as bad as the real sin?  Like lusting for your neighbor's wife being just as bad as actual adultery.

Well, if you're cursing with different words, I'm going to say you're still cursing.  Yes, you didn't drop the f-bomb, but that doesn't matter.

If you live by a moral code and are bound to follow it, using 'Son of a Bishop' when you drop your non-caffeinated drink on the ground should still count.  Think of it along the same lines as kids saying "oral doesn't count as sex, so I'm still technically a virgin..."

Even if you're half-assing it, you're still doing it.  Sex, cursing, etc.  Get over it, and either do it right or don't do it at all.

....fuckers....

Birthday Weekend

It's my Birthday this weekend, and I'm in California.

My oldest was born 2 days after my birthday, so his party is this weekend.

So, if you need me, I'll be partying it up this weekend, on more than one location.

In Idaho, I left as a snowstorm rolled in.  Today is going to be in the mid 70's or lower 80's.  I'm lovin it.

Tales From The Hotel Room - I Can Hear You Having Sex

I spend probably 1/3 of the year in a hotel room, thanks to my job traveling over 6 states, as well as seeing my children as often as I can.

Some hotel stays are fantastic, but others are not.

Recently I was in a hotel room.  It was about 8am, I was starting my work day, sending a few emails, planning my route of sales calls for the day, when I hear it...

*squeak squeak squeak*

It almost sounds like the people next to me are having sex...

A female moans.  Briefly.  The squeaking continues.

Every so often it would pause for a few seconds, before resuming the steady, rhythmic 100-beats-per-minute squeak.

I continue my emails, and start humming in the back of my head....

"Iiiiiii've been working on the raiiiiiiil-roooooooooad....  Aaaaaaaaaall the live long daaaaaaaayyyyy...

Good grief, they've been going at it for a while.  No speeding up, no slowing down, no more moaning from the woman.

Continuing with my emails, I finally hear the guy.  He gets off like a lion roaring.  Loud, over-dramatic.

Squeak..........  skeek....... flop.

Man, I wish the walls weren't so damn thin in here...

I chuckle a little, since the man seemed to enjoy it, but the woman was far less vocal.  A few minutes (and emails) later, they start to argue.  She seems upset.  He seems apologetic.  I can't make out words, but I'm guessing it wasn't as good for her as it was for him.

I tweeted about it when it happened, and my blogging bud Random Girl summed it up nicely:

Sh*t Mormons Say

Today is going to be brief, because it's going to be a long day for me.  Busy with work, busy with travel, and by the end of the day I hope to be 700 miles from here.

So today I present to you a compilation of videos, some made by actual Mormons, some made by mocking observers.

Either way, they're funny as hell.  That is, if you believe in hell.

I present.... Shit Mormons say.  Walk around an Eastern Idaho mall on a Saturday, and you'll hear at least 60% of these 'isms' within an hour.

"I bless this donut... to strengthen and nourish my body..."

I Was Retweeted by a Celebrity ...But At What Cost?

For those of us on twitter, we know that exposure is exciting.  People love to have a lot of people following them, and the more influential people you have reading your tweets, the 'cooler' you are.

I follow a handful of celebrities, politicians and other 'popular' people, and from time to time, respond to some of their tweets.  I normally just do my own thing, either pimping my blog or saying silly things in hopes for retweets or stars.

You know, just screwing around.

I was on twitter Tuesday night and saw a tweet from Adrianne Curry.  She was talking about her future relationship possibilities, and if she would ever marry again.  I chipped in my two cents:

Well, she read my tweet.  She liked my tweet.  And she retweeted:

I was floored.

And I was joking around, but I used to play online games.  Kids do indeed cut into gaming and raid times, since they require constant attention and you can't really ignore them for 4+ hours.

When someone with 320k followers retweets you, people talk.  Suddenly I had over a dozen people retweeting my message, and even more adding their own quips on my tweet.  Most agreed with me, and added humor of their own.

With that said, I'm stoked.  My Klout score is going to go through the roof (yes, I still use klout, and no, I don't know why either...)

Yet.... I don't want people to get the wrong idea.  I love my kids.  I regret some stupid things I did in the past, like putting video games ahead of my family from time to time.  Looking back, gaming cost me a lot of precious moments and I'm not ok with that.  My boys matter to me more than any game ever could.

But they do cut into raid times.  If you'd rather be gaming, kids aren't for you.

Good news though!  As they get older, the perfect combo emerges!

I WILL PWN JOO!!1!1!!

Video games WITH your kids!  As an 80's/90's kid, I'm looking forward to the day where my boys and I can play together, trash talking (in a family friendly way, of course) and taking turns whooping each other.

So Adrianne.  Much love for the RT, and I wish you nothing but happiness, epic loot, and orgasms a-plenty.  But kids aren't nearly as overrated as my tweet says.

Heads Up Seven Up - Childhood Game with Creepy Overtones

Who remembers this game from elementary school?

Heads Up Seven Up.  Seven kids stand up.  The lights go off, heads go down.  No peeking now... the seven 'it' kids touch seven other kids (one each), then the touched ones have to guess who did it...

Let me recap that one more time.  "Ok kids, cover your face and close your eyes.  Someone's gonna touch you, and when they're done, you have to guess who it was..."

Sound dirty?  I thought so too.

I was on someone's blog and made a comment about kids games, and it made me think a little deeper about this game.  I played it as a kid, and it's essentially an innocent game.  Yet... the synopsis could be taken a wrong way...

...get in.

For example, if a dude in a van wants to play Heads Up Seven Up with you, it may not be a good idea...

Uncle creepy asking to play a game when it's just you and him?  Probably unsafe...

However, the collegiate version of this game could be fun.  Think of it like beer pong.  If you guess wrong, you drink or take off an article of clothing.  However, it's going to have to be 7 guys versus 7 girls, or any even ratio. (2v2, 4v4, etc)

Needless to say, in this grown up version the goal is to get everyone wasted and as close to naked as possible.

In short, Heads Up Seven Up is ok in the classroom.  It's ok at a college or swingers' party.  But in any other scenario, it's going to lead to a session with this doll.

Can you point to where he touched you, Timmy?

Silent ball?  Still safe.  Unless you think "no talking while other people bludgeon you" is safe....

Old School Gaming, and the Hidden Messages Within

I don't really have a lot of time to play video games, but when I do, I like playing the classics.  Don't get me wrong, some of the newer games out there are flat-out amazing, but I think it's more fun to play a 25 year-old version of Mega Man than I do fragging some newbs in Halo.

I have a Wii, and recently went on a buying spree for some old NES, Sega, and Super Nintendo games.  I picked up the original Legend of Zelda, Super Mario 1-3, a few SNES games, and one of the most difficult games I've ever played, Fantasy Zone.

Fantasy Zone is an old game for the Sega Master System (before the Genesis) and was one of the first games I ever played.  To this day, I still can't beat the game.  If you have a Wii (or an emulator on your PC) I challenge you to try it... it'll make you rage...

One of the fun things I noticed was the wonder of 8-bit games on a 40" Hi-Def television.  I was playing Super Mario Brothers when I noticed this:

At the end of the first 7 levels, you defeat the boss, and a little mushroom tells you "Thank you Mario, but the princess is in another castle."

I paused the game.

"Wait a second, is that little fucker flipping me off?"

And what do you know, he was...

Instead of being sincere and telling me to go to the next level, he's saying "BAHAHAHA, you got PUNKED, bro!  Try again!"

That mushroom bastard...

What's funny is I'm playing these games with no delay or interruption.  I remember being 8/9/10 years old and having to blow into the NES cartridges to make sure all the connectors were free of dust.  Then insert the game.  Hit power.  Wait.  Didn't work?  Pull out, blow some more, try again.  With the Wii, it's almost.... anticlimactic...

Half the fun of playing the games was getting your machine to work.  It made you feel like an engineer, saying "There.  *I* fixed it" when nobody else could...

Oh well.  Saved the princess.  Now off to Hyrule next, to see if I remember all the hidden things in Zelda.  Huzzah!!!

Happy Blogoversary to Me

As of Monday, My Own Private Idaho will officially be 1 year old.

And WOW, what a trip thusfar.

This will make post 391, and I still can't believe I've pumped out so many words in such a tight timeframe.  I've blogged almost daily for an entire year.

Some fun stats for MOPI during it's first 12 months:

• 776 followers to date (soooo close to 777, but oh well)
• As of 9:45am on 1/21/12, my blog has been viewed over 300,000 times
• 391 posts, with over 8,600 comments.
• 4 layout redesigns
• 3 guest posts by 2 guest bloggers (and I'm always looking for more)

And about 200,000 words written.  Funny, even though I've written almost 400 posts, my second post ever of chopping down my first Christmas tree is still my favorite.  I wonder how I'm going to top it?  Maybe I should go hunting...

Thank you all for your comments, your support, and following my fucked up world.  I'm slowly adjusting to the Idaho scene, but will always see myself as an outsider.

I refuse to listen to country music.  I refuse to drink the Mormon koolaid. I refuse to become a meth user or start my own potato farm.  I still say 'dude.'  I will always, in essence, be a Californian living in Idaho.

Which is why this blog will go on.  I'm living in My Own Private Idaho and am willing to take you along for the ride, if you're willing to put up with my nonsense.

Cheers.  Here's to another fun year, hundreds of new and entertaining stories, and continued growth.  I'm working on a fun post for Monday, to start year #2 off right.  See you then!

Freaky Friday: Dogs, Sex, and Dog Sex (kind of NSFW, but not really)

Fun fact:  2 out of 3 households have dogs.

Fun Fact:  3 out of 5 households have some sex toys in them.

(another fun fact: 42% of all statistics are made up, and totally full of crap)

If you do the math, odds are good at least SOME readers have both sex toys and a dog (or dogs) in their household.

Now think about this... Dogs like to chew, yes?  Bones, toys, tugs, whatever they can get a hold of.

...which explains why there are so many pictures of dogs gnawing on sex toys when you do some image searches...

I have a dog at home (Melody the German Shepherd), and there are a few toys locked away (I write from time to time for edenfantasys).  I make sure the two are never combined, because I don't want my dog to be just another silly picture on the interwebs.

...because you know... if she ever found one and started gnawing on it, I'd take a picture first... when done laughing, I'd scold her...

But dogs sure do love their sex toys...

So what do you do when your pooch has a fetish?  Do you buy it it's very own vibrator?

To have and to hold?

(and to chew?)

Why not, instead of getting it a people toy, get it it's very own designed-for-dogs sex toy??

...yes... they do exist...

Meet the hotdoll.  It's made in France.  It's designed 'for trendy dogs.'

...and it can be yours...

You can purchase one at the hotdoll website for a cool 149 Euros (plus shipping, if you live in the states like I do).  They come in black or white, and you can buy extra 'receptacle' cones for an additional fee.

The last male dog I had was Spike, the horny Chihuahua.  I was 10, and was in the phase of 'outgrowing' a lot of my stuffed animals.  Remember Pound Puppies?  I had one.  Cooler.  Around the time we got Spike, I was done with Cooler, so I gave the stuffed toy to the dog.

Spike loved it.  Loved it long time.  Loooong time...

That poor stuffed animal.  When we finally threw it away it was stained and crusty.  But you know what?  Spike was happy.  And that toy was a hand-me-down, originally $15.

Would I buy my dog a sex toy, if it were obsessed?  Maybe.  But would I spend over $100?  Probably not...

Still, if it exists, there's probably a market for it...

Fashion Faux Pas - Pajama Pants in Public

I see them at Walmart.

I see them at the gym.

My girlfriend has a coworker that wears them to work.

And they annoy me whenever I see them.

Pajama pants.  In public.  Worn as regular pants.

Not even in a discreet way.  Black or dark blue pj's?  Nope.  Hot pink.  Butterfly designs.  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer pj's on an April afternoon.

...am I missing something?  When did this become fashionably acceptable??

Luckily, lawmakers are starting to notice.  I know the last thing we need is another stupid government regulation, but Louisiana bureaucrats are trying to pass a law making pj's in public a crime.

Crime against fashion?  Absolutely.  But a ticketable offense?  That's a bit much...

Or is it?

What do you think of this idea?  What do you think about people wearing pj pants in public?  Most of all, have you ever done it??

Sorry to say, whenever I see pj's in public, this happens to me:

I turn into a geriatric Republican...

Fast Food Marketing - Misleading Much? (My review of the new Idaho Falls Carl's Jr.)

Yes, you heard right.  Idaho Falls now has a Carl's Jr.  What's exciting is they're already working on location #2, and #1 has only been open for about a month.

I grew up in Southern California, and Carl's Jr. was one of my favorite fast food chains.  Their burgers actually tasted like a burger, their toppings were always fresh, and their iced tea is one of the best.

So when I heard one was opening in IF, I was excited.  Now if only we could get a Chipotle, and a good Greek place....

I waited about a month before going there, to let the crowds die down and to let the new employees get into a rhythm.  Last night was my first visit, and I wasn't really impressed.

The drive thru speaker is already cracking like it's years old.  The person taking my order kept trying to cut me off (I had my girlfriend with me) and it took forever to go over the order 2/3/4 times before SHE felt comfortable she got it right...  The cash register at the drive thru was malfunctioning, so it took a while for her to take my payment, and then I didn't get a receipt.

But the best part?  The food.

Don't get me wrong, the food was fantastic and tasty as always.  What I'd like to complain about is not only a problem at this Carl's, but an issue at almost any fast food chain:  Presentation.

Look at the 'official' picture of a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, from the Carl's Jr. website.  This is similar to what you see on commercials from other burger places.  Big pieces, clean presentation.  Perfection.

Would you like to see what came in my wrapper?

Squished, drippy, and just plain sad-looking.

Granted, it all goes down the same, but I've been to enough good restaurants to appreciate the presentation of food.  I cook myself (from time to time) and I take pride in a good plating appearance.

Carl's?  Welcome to Idaho Falls.  It's good to have you here.  Now please stop sitting on my burger before giving it to me.  I'd like it to look like a burger before I eat it, not a glob of bunnish chaos.

Maybe if they put in a fraction of the effort used to photograph this food into making and packaging it, things would be better.  See how much goes into taking a photo of food like the one above?

Driving In Idaho? Beware '1J' Drivers.

In Idaho, you can typically tell where a person is from by their license plate.  The plates are coded by county.  For example, '1A' is for Ada county residents, which include the city of Boise.

If you are interested (why?) you can find a full listing of plate codes by county here.

1J stands for Jefferson county, which covers a few small towns in Eastern Idaho.  I don't know what it is about residents of this county, but all the crazy drivers on the roads seem to have '1J' plates.

Maybe it's due to the fact there aren't any major cities in Jefferson county?  It, like many parts of Idaho, is full of small towns and a lot of open farm roads.   Not a lot of traffic, and you can usually drive like a kook without a lot of consequence.

Coincidentally, Idahoans love their Walmart.  The closest Walmart to Jefferson county is on the eastern fringe of my town.  The same area is where the mall is, as well as most major shops.

If you want to go to the movies, you get to brave the 1J crowd.

If you are going to the mall and the roads are icy, beware the 1J-ers... they slide.  A lot.

Even when I'm 250+ miles west, and driving around in Boise, a stray 1J-er will appear on the road, changing lanes aggressively without signaling, and often chatting/texting on their phone.

(which is legal in the state of Idaho...)

1J-ers are usually overly-aggressive or a little unaware of their surroundings.  If you spot a 1J vehicle, be sure to give a lot of extra room, and keep your distance.  Eye contact only enrages them, so make sure to avoid provocation of any kind.

Are there any crazies where you live?  How do they make themselves known?  Please share by commenting below, and make sure to beware any Idaho plate with a 1J moniker....

Sunday Silliness: Bizzare Stock Photography

I do freelance graphics design from time to time.  Right now, I am working on rebuilding a scrapbooking website into a professional-yet-creative looking site.

I enjoy what I do, and often get a good laugh out of it.  Why?  Stock photography.

I use stock photography from time to time, and you can always find a wide variety of photos and illustrations on the dozens of sites to choose from.

My favorite of all time is iStockphoto.  They are by far the most expensive, but have the widest variety, and a HUGE amount of bizarre photos to choose from.

Below you can find some of the odd photographs I have found while trying to do my job:

Why do girls always cry when a dude tries to shove their carrot down your throat?

I knew a girl like this in college, she used to have sex in her mascot costume...

Um....

Oh, and this is a set.  There are tons of these...

The bizarre photos serve a purpose, I'm sure.  Otherwise, why would they be on that site?  It's designed to be a moneymaker, and you don't make money unless people like me buy the rights to your photo...

One of my favorite things about stock photography is the watermark.  You can tell who the cheapskates out there are, when you go to a professional business website and see those watermarks on most of the images.  It means they were too cheap to pay for the real thing, so they 'skimmed' from a website and are hoping nobody notices...

What odd pictures have you found while trolling the internet?

Online Dating in the 21st Century

You've seen it on TV commercials:  Online dating websites telling you that 1 in x (usually 4 or 5) couples meet online these days.  Part of it is marketing blather, but it's partially true.

I myself met my current girlfriend online.  Not on a dating site, per se, but on World of Warcraft.  We were online friends for a few years before we 'leveled up' our friendship, but it still counts, right?

There are so many dating websites out there, ranging from religious to ethnic to political and beyond.   Some of the best dating sites are so crowded, you can easily get lost in an ocean of 'fish in the sea.'  So what is a single person to do, when you're ready to mingle?

Firstly, be honest. Why?

There are a lot of people who put up a flattering or misleading photo on their dating profile, and are surprised when they hear "You look different in your online photo."  I have friends that do this.  They go on a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates.

...I wonder why...

Secondly, go in with mild expectations.  If the statistics are true, 1 in 4 couples met each other online.  How many of those lead to marriage?  A long, happy marriage?  You may or may not find your soulmate on an online dating site, but you never know.

Lastly, do your homework.  Most online sites, especially the best dating sites will charge a membership fee of some sort.  Think of this as not only an investment of your time but also actual money.  I personally don't like throwing $20/30/40/50 away on a whim, and you shouldn't either.

Once you have a plan, stick to it.  Be consistent.  If things don't work out the first time around, keep plodding away.  If you're one that reinvents themselves after every failed relationship, you're probably never going to find a true match.

Best of luck.  I got lucky, and found an amazing friend and partner online.  Bonus points for her being a hot gamer chick.  You too can find a match!  They're only a click away!  (or something...)

Phonics = Dum

Watch this video, of a 102 year old explaining the English language and its faults:



I can't disagree with this.  Especially since I have two boys, one in Kindergarten.  Reading, phonics, vocabulary and spelling is tough stuff.  I did well in school, but a lot of kids don't.

What do you think of this?  Share your insights below.

Book Review: Cure Your Democracy by John Cooker, MRI

The ongoing battle of Republican v Democrat (also known as Conservatives / Liberals, as well as some uglier terms) has been getting more and more fierce as the years go on.

If you have been following any political news, you have probably noticed any voting in congress is almost always a 'Red v Blue' battle, and virtually nothing gets done.  What little production there is always causes arguments, name calling, and plenty of fuel for the Glenn Becks and Ariana Huffingtons of the world.

I was recently offered to review a book that addresses such partisanship, and I love it.  The book, Cure Your Democracy, not only discusses the dangerousness of partisanship in a 21st century environment, but it proves that this partisanship is, in actuality, A DISEASE.

Yep, you heard right.  If you're hardcore left or right, you are diseased.  But fret not, there is a cure!

This book is, of course, a little tongue in cheek.  It reads almost like a medical journal, and took me a few days to paw through the 260-plus pages.  However, it was well-worth the read, and I recommend this book to anyone who gives a damn about politics.

As for me, I'm mostly a centrist, but have found myself infected with both diseases (Democratitus and Democratosis) at different stages of my life.  Nowadays, I'd like to consider myself virtually political-disease free, but I carry around a 55-gallon drum of Purell just in case.

(...the way political strife is growing in this country, I'm considering a Haz-Mat suit as well...)

This book is a very fun read.  It explains how both the left and right are guilty of stalling this country, and it's obvious when you read blogs and listen to radio/tv shows how each side viciously blames the other for our current woes.

The book will help you test for, identify, and (hopefully) treat whichever disease you find yourself infected with.  There are allergy tests (Does NASCAR turn you on?  Does the thought of Michael Moore make you queasy?) which will make you smirk, and by the time you reach the 'Treatment' section you'll have a goofy grin on your face about how stupid partisanship really is.

Taking the thought of this partisanship and extremism as an actual illness, it becomes obvious to me.  Rush, Fox News, MSNBC, Thom Hartmann and other far left/right outlets are only spreading this disease and making it more powerful by the hour.  If we want to cure this pandemic, we need to treat it at the source and eliminate the major contagions.

Yet, both sides would argue that Knowledge is Power, free speech, and the like.  It's a shame too, since these political shepherds are corralling as many mindless sheep as possible, and all in the name 'of the greater good.'

Speaking as someone who has voted both R and D, depending on the person and the issue, I would like to see partisanship end.  Mr. Cooker also has a petition going to help end partisanship and get American moving forward.  If you think like I do, and want to see an end to 'politics as usual' please click the below button and sign with me.

Change.org|Start an Online Petition »

Again, I highly recommend this book if you like to read about politics.  While I'll never run for office, I do care where this country goes, and make sure to vote at every election.  Whether on the left, right, or somewhere in the middle, Cure Your Democracy is a book you need to read.

Also be sure to check out www.cureyourdemocracy.com.

How Certain Fonts Rub People The Wrong Way

When it was first designed, Comic Sans was a light-hearted, whimsical font designed to express a casual attitude.

Over the years, however, it was over-used.  And over-used.  To the point of internet infamy.  Now Comic Sans is often mocked, and any professional caught using it runs the risk of being tarred and feathered.

One of my favorite graphics of a tongue-in-cheek poke at Comic Sans can be found here.  It lists a handful of famous logos, and changes the typeface to Comic Sans.  I laugh, and rage a little whenever I see it.

After years of hardcore mockery, people are finally starting to shy away from Comic Sans.  But as you know, when one bad trend dies, another often takes its place.

I'd like to introduce you to my personal new-least-favorite overused Font:  Papyrus

Another font designed to look a certain way.  This one is supposed to be elegant.  Exotic.  Ancient.  (hence the name)

Instead, it has been used and overused to the point of becoming the new Comic Sans.

Not only does Idaho use Papyrus in their Driver's Licenses and "Welcome to Idaho" signs, but my girlfriend even fell victim to the allure of this font when building her website.

Papyrus is one sneaky beast.

Are there any fonts you use on a regular basis that are worthy of note?  Are there any fonts people use that drive you crazy?  Feel free to call them out here, and we can all collectively ban the bad ones from our repertoire.

Why Do Lawsuits Take So Long?

My car died at the beginning of September.  Dead radiator, and I was out of state.  I took it to a major dealership nearby, and they fixed me up.  $800 later, I was on the road again.

For 6 days.... before the radiator they installed failed.  Poor installation, and it leaked out.

Not only did my car die again, the engine overheated to the point of being ruined.  What was an $800 fix is now close to $8000.

The dealership?  "Not our problem."

I sued them, as any sane person would.  Luckily, I had a local dealership work with me.  They were going to loan me a rental in the meantime, and not worry about payments until I got things settled.

Well, 4 months and $4000 in rental fees later, they've changed their mind.  I need to give the car back by the end of this week, and now they're hunting for money I don't have.  Lawsuit isn't settled, and the settlement was going to pay for repairs and rental fees.

I'm still weeks from my court date.  After the judgement, I don't know how long it's going to take before I actually get my settlement.


...if I win...

I travel for a living, and as of Friday, will not have a working car.  Not in a position to buy one myself.  How screwed am I?

...and close friends wonder why my stress levels are through the roof.

So, I'm selling adspace on my blog, but if anyone wants to give me a car, wrapped in whatever ads they want, I'll drive it around a 6-state area and pimp your wares...

...contemplating a 2nd job as a gigolo... too bad I'm not that attractive... or have a way to get from hotel to hotel...

If you were in this situation, what would you do?  I'm out of ideas.