"I want to make you do something you don't really want to do. How do I guilt-trip you into doing it?"
If you spend any time on Facebook, you have seen example after example of these tactics being employed on your timeline:
I don't know why people make these. Is it because you want 100,000 people liking and sharing something you made? Most of them look like they're done by 12 year-olds, and almost always contain some sort of spelling/grammar issue...
Here, I'll do one...
OMG! I only have 6,000 people sharing this! There are SOOO MANY people out there that just don't like sex!! What's wrong with you billions of people out there that don't like sex???
...can you tell these piss me off?
The Facebook 'like me' messages are nothing compared to the ASPCA commercials that have been running for the last 6 months or so.
So says Sarah McLachlan, the authority on righteousness in Northern America these days... you need her approval if you want to call yourself a good person.
What bothers me most are the animals. I have 2 shelter pets, and I know they don't all look like sad, pitiful animals. I can see a director going down the line in a shelter...
"Nah, this one doesn't look pitiful enough. Go ahead and gas this one..."
"This one is close... maybe break it's leg and see if it will whimper then??"
"Oooh, this one is PERFECT!! Get the cameras ready, boys!"
Yes, it's cruel... but to get so many animals looking so heartbroken, they probably had to actually break a few hearts first. It's all for the greater good though, so it's ok... right? Sarah? Back me up here...
To all the people using this marketing tactic, I have some bad news for you:
I've built up a resistance to guilt-based manipulation. I have my ex wife to thank for that. To this day she still tries, but I'm more or less immune to it.
...think iocane powder in the Princess Bride... it may still seep in and poison you, but I can take it...
And, of course, please like and share this post with others! If you don't, the terrorists will win, and Sarah McLachlan will kill you in your sleep!
14 witty retorts:
yes!
This type of propaganda makes me stabby.
A lot of the chain email forwards we receive that command us to pass them along unless we hate Jesus or want Socialism to take over our public schools are ACTUALLY designed to gather email addresses via implanted cookies. You get these things telling you to 'send back within ten minutes' because all of your dreams will come true if you do! Some creep in a cubicle somewhere gathers up all of all the collected emails and then targets those folks for select ads, products, political fundraising requests, etc. Wise folks dump them all without opening.
This is fucking AWESOME... and FUCK Sarah. Those commercials make my kids cry.
6 MONTHS? Hell, they've been doing that shit foreva! I remember the Christian Children's Fund doing that when I was a kid with the starving African child that's too tired to swat the giant fly off his eyeball. My mother would DIVE for the remote.
Let's all take a calculator out to see how much of my $1 a day is making it to that child, shall we?
I will never, ever forward an email or like a link that tries to shame me into doing it. No matter how much I believe in the thing. Never, ever.
Unless it has a really cute puppy on it, then maybe.
Those commercials have been around for more than six months. I know this because for the past five years I have wanted a dog and have to turn those commercials off when they come on. They affect me more than the ones for poor orphan children in third world countries.
I got my only dog from a shelter, and let me tell you, it looked just like the dogs in the ad. I am just kidding. He was healthy and plump. Sure, he has worms, but that's all been cleared up.
I too have to turn off the dog commercials. YEARS ago I received mail from PETA that featured a postcard of a rabbit alive, but cut wide open, just sitting there while supposedly someone stared at what color its guts turned. I STILL have nightmares about it. Didn't make me join PETA, made me RUN from PETA.
Those freakin Jesus and sad dog posts. Makes me want to deactivate my facebook. lol.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I couldn't agree more- about Self-Righteous Sarah and the nonstop "like if you have a heart/brain/sense of humor/pulse because I want to feel like I have tons of fans but don't actually want to interact with them" posts.
I am here to say that I love that Ariel picture and I always have and I adore that you used it.
Where is the button for me to like Sarah Mclaughlin killing me in my sleep?
Oh holy crap I'm so glad you're on to them. Every time Sarah's little spiels come on I have to change the channel. That little mermaid though? I could watch her for eons.
I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who feels this way. I can't stand half of the bs that shows up on my FB page. It's obvious that some person wondered how many hits they would get if... I can't believe how many people actually fall for it. What does it prove?
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