I asked for ideas to paint, and the randomly selected subject was: My Girlfriend.
I started with these materials...
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| Technically those are FINGER paints... |
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| A candid of my girlfriend |
I started painting, and found out a few fun facts when using your penis as a paintbrush...
The penis also has a naturally 'broad' brush stroke. You can fix this (and add more detail to the picture) by squeezing parts of it to a small tip, then dabbing the paint on a smaller surface. When doing shadowing (hair, shoulder blades) this technique comes in handy.
Handy... trying to forgo the puns here, but it's hard... (gah! did it again!)
At first, I wanted to hold an auction for the painting. If I'm ever a world-famous blogger, this thing could be worth big bucks. However, my gf likes it too much. She wants it, and is considering framing it.
Maybe that means I'll have to do another one later, for sale to the public?
Oh... and you don't need to ask. Like a good artist, I signed my work...
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| Can you guess HOW I signed it??? |
49 witty retorts:
Well it's definitely an exotic piece...you're early period?
I love it so much!
I'm jealous that she gets to keep it, but it IS a portrait of her, so I gueessss that's fair.
Well done!
And remember, I'm an art teacher, so that just ain't smoke blowing up your ass.
Maybe we should do a trade; I'll do one with my nipples ;)
Unbelievable. It's not the size of the brush, it's the strokes of the artist. (I may have to workshop that saying) It's actually really good. Well done.
I'm am in complete and utter AWE. Srsly. I wish I had a penis =(
All things considered, that is really awesome. I don't blame her for wanting to keep it! I think you might be on to something!!
LMAO. That's actually impressive! Now I wish I had a weenus of my own to paint with.
You did an awesome job! I wonder if I can convince my bf to paint me something. Maybe we'll start off with something easier... like a sun.
Not bad!
Ironically, a bit of dude side butt cheek is exactly the way I was hoping to start my day.
SD
Damn, your penis is very talented.....enough said.
lol wait wut... how did u get your penis inside those paint containers to get the paint out...wut
eeerrrrrrrrrr?
That's awesome! I wish my penis could do that! Now I sound like I have penis envy...wtf?
And what would a penis paint post be without all the puns? Whether intentional or not!
My first thought was definitely how did you get the paint out of the tiny containers.
My second thought was "Damn, I wish I had a penis."
My third thought was....nipple painting???
And then I punched myself.
I'm impressed! With the painting, that is.
Wow, I'm impressed with your...flexibility.... with this medium. The painting is actually quite nice and a loving tribute to your woman... from your penis...it's so... sweet???
I don't know why, but I was expecting a much smaller painting.
Still, that's not a bad effort, considering the tools (tool?) used for the detail work. I'm afraid someone would walk in on me in mid-painting and have me committed to one of the local loony bins as a sexual deviant...
Well done my friend! I am actually impressed! I was expecting something akin to a 5 year old's finger painting, but u actually did a good job! I'm intrigued by Lady E's nipple painting offer...hmmm
That's really good!! You definitely need to do another one to give away or auction. Who knows, Pricasso may have some competition!
Would you do bachelorette parties? :P
Haha nicely done... I'm not sure I could do any better with my member... hopefully you used non toxic paint!
Fabulous! You really should do more and auction them off, maybe do a giveaway?
WAY it actually looks effing AWESOME. I wanna try now! I will some day. Hopefully on a live model, you know. Keep things exciting.
This doesn't suck! Finger paint..good idea, your penis and fingers often go in the same places. Next time use flavored body paints so your girl can help with the clean up between colors! I think each female you paint, you should...paint a pearl necklace. I am just tickled pink by the idea! You're absolutely a-head of the game with your masterpiece! Who else could pull this off?! Maybe people can start sending you pics to turn into paintings :)
dick art, while amazing and awe inspiring isn't exactly what I want hanging on my walls. The details you shared for techniques was...um...enlightening. haha. I'm actually pretty impressed with the quality of the painting kudos to you and your penis, Sir.
I am very impressed!
@Lady E: Just do one with your nipples because it's fun. Bonus points if it's OF your nips, BY your nips. (yo dawg...)
@Bart & Everyone else wondering how I got my ween into those tiny fingerpaint containers: The paint comes out. I used a few paper plates to pour out the colors, mix for shading, etc. So yeah... rub my junk on the paint, rub my junk on the canvas. Rinse and repeat.
@Random Girl: Nothing screams 'from the heart' like a gift from the loins, eh?
@Squatlo: Is that a size joke???
@Jazz: OOOH. I like your idea about bachelorette parties...
@Sub-Radar-Mike: Non-toxic? Rut roh...
@Guiltless Miss: BRILLIANT! I love the pearl necklace idea. I kind of did it with this painting, but she was wearing a silver chain, not pearls. But the necklace IS there... that would be a fun 'trademark!'
@Jewels: You know it turned you on in a twisted, twisted way...
@Gucci: Thank you. Apparently I'll be available for parties soon... Call me!
The coolest thing EVER! I love the signature.
God I hope this idea doesn't turn into a chain. Those "paint-a-pot" stores freaked me out.
Did you have to leave your "brush" in turpentine over night? That would have been awkward...
Great work mate, it is really impressive
painting looks alright as well
What further proof could one need that we evolved from a primate species than the deficient intellectual capacity exhibited herein.
Omg lol.... you're such a nut! But what an awesome painting and no wonder your gf didn't want to give it up. Not many ladies can boast about having a penis portrait done by their boyfriend. Very cool.
Are you circumcised?
Why yes, yes I am... why do you ask?
I thought I had commented on this before, but probably on G+. Anyhow, nice work. Name your price for a frontal.
Actually, I was thinking it would be fun to take requests. If someone wants to commission a painting, I'll make sure to take plenty of 'in progress' shots to prove the brush-stroke authenticity...
Umm, that's some weird "why would I ever want to do that" stuff.
I must admit I'm impressed (with the painting). Although I do have some concern. Your signature is not legible, so I worry that any man with a penis could copy your work. If it's meant to be a symbol (i.e. artist formally known as Prince), then that would work too, but you will need to get it (TM).
Also, is it repeatable? You want to be able to authenticate your work, otherwise when you become a rich and famous artist, you will have every prick-wanna-be-Pricasso coming out of the woodwork (or closet) tying to capitalize on your hard work.
Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination
Um, well, wow. Suprisingly good painting, actually. Definitely a cut above peeing your initials in the snow!
I still suffer from penis paint envy!
This is pretty awesome
Look on the bright side, sure you may have painted a picture with your Wang but at least you have the girth to use it as a paint brush....
I cannot believe that this is real! You are crazier than I am... I love it!
A lot of words come to mind when reading this post. One of them is "mushroom" and another one is "stamping."
Will you do my portrait!
Pricasso??
That. Is. Awesome.
I'm thinking about making this a thing for me. Want to become my first customer?
And no, I'm not Pricasso, I'm just a humble flatterer. :)
If it is possible that you have a girlfriend ,I would leave it at that dude.
I would need more proof of a girlfriend than given.
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