Dayquil/Nyquil isn't helping, it just supresses symptoms for a while, and makes me look like I just came from a Dave Matthews Band concert. Seriously, my eyes are so red and watery, if I get pulled over in this town it'll be an instant ticket to cavity-searchville.
I have been looking online for homeopathic cures and remedies, and this is what I have found so far:
- Honey - Recent studies have shown that honey is more effective for coughs than over-the-counter medicines
- Put Listerine on a Q-Tip, and rub it inside your nose. It is supposed to kill germs, and supresses your urge to sneeze. (Tried it, and OH MY BALLS it burned! But I didn't sneeze... for like 2 minutes...)
- Herbs like Chamomile and Echinacea - Herbalists have recommended Chamomile and Echinacea to help fight infection. Some research indicates that Echinacea boosts the immune system by stimulating the production of white blood cells, while Chamomile soothes the stomach and calms nerves.
- Garlic - Many people believe it can boost immune systems and help fight upper respiratory infections. Studies have also shown that garlic is most effective when eaten raw.
- Milk (Specifically Vitamin D) - Recent studies suggest people with lower blood levels of vitamin D have more colds and cases of the flu. Plus it builds strong bones!!
- Zinc - You see zinc lozenges, zinc nasal sprays, and other zing products everywhere. Another immunity booster.
- Probiotics - Probiotics contain bacteria naturally occurring in the human gut. They not only keep you regular, but keep you healthy. Most commonly found in supplements or yogurt.
I had all of these ingredients laying around the house, and decided if they were good for you individually, they must work great when mixed together...
Oh yes I did... I mixed yogurt, milk, herbs, garlic, zinc and honey into a blender. Added some blueberries for taste, and *WHIRRRRRRR*
When finished, I got a little apprehensive. I mean, it looked like a normal smoothie, and smelled like a normal smoothie, but I started thinking of all the ingredients I've hodge-podged together in there. The only way it could be weirder is if I tossed in a halibut.
I bucked up, and decided to take a swig. I've gone too far already, and wanted this cold DEAD.
And... I should have trusted my instinct. It tasted like the murky fog from a port a potty.
It was thick, and had an aftertaste that could sober up any drunk in seconds. Even after brushing my teeth and gargling with listerine, I could still taste it in the back of my throat, and whenever I burped.
Worst of all, it didn't help one bit. I'm still as sniffly and hazy as ever. But if I had to look on the bright side, it would be this post. I mean, it made for a fun story, didn't it? Plus I got to find this cool picture of a port a potty that looks like the TARDIS from Doctor Who.
(fun segue, I have been curled up on the couch with a box of tissues and Doctor Who on Netflix all evening)
When I started looking for pictures to go with this post, I found this little gem, and instantly heard "Vworp... vworp..." in my head.
Wouldn't you agree, Doctor?
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| What's that smell? Is that your breath? Bloody hell, what have you been eating? ...wait.... you what?? ...bloody humans... |
