Do you see the good in people?

I'm pissed off.  When I blog in a pissed-off mood, my posts can go either way.  Sometimes I come up with my best work.  Sometimes I create a shitstorm of backlash.  Let's see what today brings...

I'm getting tired of the world looking through a filter where we only see negative things.  I can do 20 good things for you, or to you, but 1 bad action ruins everything.  An old saying comes to mind: "It only takes a few drops of oil to ruin a gallon of water."

Yet, this is how society runs.  In politics, we see people running for office not running by saying "I'm the best for the job," but instead saying "look how horrible my opponent is."  Both political parties play this game, and rarely have anything good to say about the other side.

If you've watched the news on TV in the last 5 years, you have probably noticed there are about 10 "doom and gloom" stories for every neutral or "feelgood" story.  Is there more bad happening in this world than good?  No, but bad = newsworthy.  It's what people want to hear.

I try to see both the good and bad in people.  Nobody's perfect, so everybody has qualities on both sides of the spectrum.  The good and the bad, the past and the present, it shapes who you are and what you do.  My difference?  I try to focus on the good.

Because nobody likes it when you point out their flaws, and tell them how bad they are.

This seems to happen a lot in a work setting, as well as at home.  School teaches us that 90% is an A, and we all want A's.  But in the workplace, if you do 100 things that amaze your boss, and 1 bad thing, that 1 bad thing can ruin you.  If I were a surgeon, I'd understand this a little bit more.  1 botched surgery is a big deal to the person you just operated on.  But in Customer Service?  In Marketing?  I didn't trigger the apocalypse, I just made one booboo...

It hurts when it's on a personal level as well.  When you share your life with someone, and you always make an effort to make them feel happy, feel loved, feel appreciated.  When you care, and it's not noticed, it hurts.  When you fall short of expectations, and all your efforts are thrown out because of something bad, it feels like it's not really worth it. 

An example of this is my dad.  I grew up trying to please him, trying to meet his high expectations of me.  I never could.  Everything I did was never good enough.  Now, as as an adult, he expects me to still live my life to his standard.  To be shaped as he sees fit.  If I don't bend to his will, I'm not a good son.  He never saw the love, the effort, the good.  He only saw what I was doing wrong.  For this reason and probably 100 others, I haven't spoke to him since January 2009, and have no desire to rebuild that bridge.

This isn't the only example in my life, just the easiest to describe.  It's also in my past, and doesn't affect my present, so it's an easier piece of laundry to air out.

Why can't we, as a culture, see the good in people?  Why do we make such a big deal out of others faults?  Is it because of our own insecurities?  If we ridicule you enough, maybe you won't notice what's wrong with us?  My can't criticism be constructive, instead of just hurtful?

Why is it so hard to see things through the eyes of others?  Maybe we would understand people's actions more if we understood the reasoning behind the actions... and thought long and hard before we cast judgment and sling hatred.

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