I love websites like First World Problems and Rich People Problems that tackle issues like:
"Playing Angry Birds and I fling the bird in the wrong direction."
and
"I put a band-aid on my thumb and now I can only text with one hand..."
They make me laugh and realize I have things fairly well. I don't complain often because I still have it better than most.
But, thanks to my four-year-old nephew and TV-time with him, I realize it could be worse. Much worse.
I present to you, a list of "Nick Jr. Problems." Problems that toddlers and young children have to face, when they go on adventures with Dora or Wubbzy.
"Our carnival is missing music and goodies! Only the llama can help us now..."
"We need to search Hawaii beaches in order to surf the perfect wave."
"Our Marching Band can't march because there is a duck in the way!"
"We need to save a baby cow stuck in a tree, but a twister is coming!"
"My map won't come out of my backpack unless everyone shouts 'MAP' really loud!"
"An adventure isn't truly over unless we have sang at least two songs."
"I like Christmas, but what about the squirrels? Do they like Christmas? Let's get the squirrels presents!"
"A mouse is trapped in a saxophone, and we need to use teamwork to blow him out."
"An angry boar took our ball! What will we play with now? I know! Let's see if he wants to share!"
"Sea animals are stuck in a coral cage in the bottom of the ocean. We need to find a giant octopus to help us free the animals!"
"A chicken is asking for spring flowers. Let's go pick some!"
"We were floating down the river to go play at a polka party, but our instruments fell in the water."
And many, many, MANY more.
(and I'm sure a handful of parents of 3-7 year-olds can probably match at least half of these 'problems' to the shows they came from...)
What do you think? Should there be a "TV Toddler Problems" website listing these? Should we do Disney as well? (Hot dog, hot diggity dog!!)
Should we start a fun #NickJrProblems hashtag and see if we can't get it to trend on twitter?
If you are a parent and want to add to this list, please share your 'problems' below with a comment.
Now, if you'll excuse me, my jaguar sidekick and I are going to teach an emperor penguin how to play a harmonica, so he can perform for his sister's birthday party.
It is basic etiquette to remove your brains before you watch shows like Wonder Pets.
ReplyDeleteAnd everyones says that Diego and Dora teach kids, and till today I am sitting with pen and paper to note down what they teach I couldnt get pass "Dora".
And speaking about Dora, I see lot of searches ending in my love "Dora sex", "Dora naked OMG", "Dora gives excellent orgasms","Dora's boobs"
- Is Dora nick name for Kim Kardashian?
My kids are older now, but oh I remember these, haha! Thanks for the memories, and yes, I totally believe you should start the hashtag!
ReplyDeleteDude, this is awesome. I feel like if you repost this during the week, it'll go viral.
ReplyDelete"a baby pigeon is stuck in a statue! This is seweeous!"
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea, I agree with Mr Brown above. You should post this during the week and watch it take off.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been forced to endure children's programming since the days of Barney and Teletubbies. Even then, I quickly coaxed my boys over to Beetlejuice, Batman, and X-men.
ReplyDeleteThey certainly would make for cuter problems. Lovely post!
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
I agree with meandmythingcap...you MUST remove brain before watching these shows. Thankfully my daughter is older now and doesn't watch them any more, but if I had to watch another season of Bear in the Big Blue House (which wasn't even that bad) I was gonna be on the news after climbing a clocktower. Totally diggin the idea of starting a hashtag for it though.
ReplyDeleteMy most common toddler TV program problem: "mommy, George Gone!" This is what my 2 year old proclaims every time Curious George has undone his mess and the credits roll.
ReplyDeletei like when ppl come whine to me and are all like argh life is so hard. so i tell em theyve got it in and they get all bitchy and then i'll tell em atleast u dont have to put up with terrorists on a regular basis, like in the middle east and africa. puts em in place and they leave me alone
ReplyDeleteI'm a grumpy old troll, who lives under the bridge!
ReplyDeleteI know 'em all man! There should be a mash-up of all the theme songs for these shows.
*in my worst sing song voice*...The phone, the phone is ringing. It's D-D-D-Dora, she'll be right here. Come join your friends the backyardigans, we got ears, say cheers! .....you get the point!
#NickJrProblems brilliant idea!
there is one show I will absolutely NEVER let my kids watch....Caillou. Not nick jr but still, this kid is one major whiny ass! Whenever that show is on I just want to bitchslap that little punk into oblivion!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't made aware of these serious issue until this stage! I suggest we call for an emergency conference to identify alternative solutions and courses of action. Reminder: bring ball and map
ReplyDeleteYeah some of those shows really make it seem like our children are dumb. Dora the Explorer is one of the worst ones. I didn't realize how bad it was until you made this list. Wow!
ReplyDeleteMichael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination
I have said this for years! Having three Minions, ages 2-8 we've seen them all. From Dora the Whorea to that red devil Elmo, they all have problems. You really do need to add in Disney, especially Mickey Mouse Whore House...er, Clubhouse. Who cares if Daisy doesn't have a pet like the rest of them?
ReplyDeleteNow the Rugrats, those kids tackled the serious problems and Tommy could always fix something with his screwdriver he pulled out of his diaper.
I always waited for Angelica to say to Tommy "Is that a screwdriver in your diaper or are you happy to see me?"
ReplyDeleteDude, you should start the website. You'd make a fortune.
ReplyDeleteI misread the title as NickiMinajProblems. I was like "where do you start?"
ReplyDelete