I'm the new guy on the block.
And I won a 'top sales' award this week. I'm stoked.
A manufacturer rep gave me props for selling the most new stores during a period of time. I smoked the other sales reps, so he wanted to thank me for my hard efforts.
...by giving me a pair of boxers...
So, in honor of me being the top salesman for this product, I was awarded a pair of silk boxers so I too can fart through silk.
I... was... stunned. What do you say to a dude who says "thank you for your efforts, here's some drawers..."
But hey, I'll take it. Because the new guy in town is selling better than the rest. Like a boss.
"Farting through silk"? And here I always thought it was "sex on velvet" which took the place of the historic "wiping with corn" (to indicate you had enough money not to use your hand). Huh, live and learn.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Big Timer. Well earned.
Good lord--- that is absolutely horrible. Like, yay for getting top sales and being relatively new, but boo to your incentive. Because does this means raises aren't really raises? Maybe you just get a wider variety of silk? HAHAHA.
ReplyDelete@Sara: I still get raises, bonuses, commissions and the like, but this was more of a "You're awesome, but you're new, so we need to play with ya a little bit" award.
ReplyDeleteWith this contest, each new store I opened earned me cash. I earned a lot of cash. The pretty panties was just the icing on the cake. :)
Give those bad boys a good washing. They might be the originals. Farted through for generations and generations of excellent salesmen.
ReplyDeleteWell done, sir.
Congrats. Clearly you've earned them. I say fart it up!
ReplyDeletecongrats on the award! that farting in silk undies must be an american saying. never even heard of that! let us know how it feels in you new boxers!
ReplyDeleteMy fovorite site is www.lostinidaho.me !
ReplyDeleteShould've asked if they can keep the silk and just give you the money.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't he also give you a can of Heinz beans? It would only be appropriate!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the award! Shoot some bunnies!
You know, that's kind of the equivalent of being with a company for 25 years and getting a sweet platinum money clip--but no money. Congrats, though. Seriously, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. In the long run, it'll pay off in more than just silk shorts. Maybe a silk wife beater tank top to match!
ReplyDeleteIs "farting through silk" anything like "shittin' in high cotton"?
ReplyDeleteYou haven't worn them yet have you? You think it's all jokes right now, but when you feel your junk against that silk, mmf. It's like the one t-shirt some of us have had for too many years, the thing is ugly as sin and has holes but it feels PERFECT... but in boxer form. You'll see. You'll see.
ReplyDeletejust remember to hand wash, and never stick in the washer
ReplyDeleteSilk boxers? Aw, man, that sounds like a Saturday on the couch in heaven! I wonder how much they cost because now I want a pair.
ReplyDeleteWait. Your boss doesn't recycle the same pair of drawers each month, does he?
wow congrats dude, u ballin' now
ReplyDeleteMore importantly - how often are you expected to wear them?
ReplyDeleteCongrats, though! YAY!
Creepy.
ReplyDelete