All in a day's work...
I'm about to pull into my first store, and I noticed the khakis I were wearing had a few stains on them. I don't know what happened or when, but I couldn't visit client's with a "look at me" spot...
I headed to Kohl's, bought a nice pair of slacks (woot for Labor Day sales) and headed out the door. I found a Taco Bell to change in, and swapped pants. FINALLY I could start my day.
I get into my car, and start heading back to my first account.... when I feel something funny... in my pants....
WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........
My inner thigh is buzzing...
WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........
"HOLY SHIT!" I think... "Is this a spider? Bee? Moth?" I start to freak. And oh yeah, I'm driving...
I grab my crotch area where the buzzing is, and kill whatever was inside. I hold on to dear life, just in case there is a stinger or poisonous fangs, and find a place to park. In a panic, I jump out of the car, strip out of my pants (10am in a North Salt Lake parking lot, people) and see this:
Not only was a moth living in these slacks, it was HUGE. I just lived through a rendition of "Mothra vs Godzilla" where the role of Godzilla was played by my penis.
And that's probably the only time you'll hear the words "godzilla" and "my penis" in the same sentence...
Fun times... and that was only the START of my day! What a way to start...
LOL! Aw, dude, I know the feeling! I had a fly get in my pants one day, but luckily I was at home. A friend of mine once got stung on the thigh by a bee which caused him to get naked at a water park. Yeah, that didn't go over very well. At least you're not blogging from jail with an indecent exposure charge. Funny story.
ReplyDeleteStained crotch, changing clothes in a Taco Bell, battling creatures in your pants? Either you're a rockstar or a homeless schizophrenic. Good thing your wang did better than Godzilla in that flick...Hey, did you find two miniature singing Asian ladies in there too?
ReplyDeleteWow I bet that woke you up quickly!!
ReplyDeleteYikes!!!!
Mothra vs. Penis...I'm so glad your penis won. I have different parts but if an insect was trying to take up residence or battle my lady parts I would have been a freaking hot mess or screaming, jumping around and stripping. I can only imagine the hilarity it would provide for onlookers!
ReplyDeleteLOL! That's a funny story! :D
ReplyDeleteIs that a moth in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Good luck and hope you don't find a bumblebee in your shirt pocket or a spider in your socks.
ReplyDeleteBleh, big huge moths freak me the hell out. lol.
ReplyDeleteBrandini. OK, first, boy moth or girl moth? Just asking.
ReplyDeleteOne time I caught my best buddy sleeping off a drunk and slipped one of those wind-up denture toys in his undies.
Too bad that was before video cameras.
LOL, I was picturing you in your car panicking and could stop laughing. Thank goodness it wasn't anything poisonous and you were able to get back to your day.
ReplyDeleteI would have died.
ReplyDelete@Gucci: When I threw my pants off, or if a moth tried to get to 2nd base with you?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, no one does sound effects like you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it wasn't a spider - I would have barfed.
So how close was your penis to losing that battle?
ReplyDeleteOr is it too painful to talk about? lol.
StephanieC
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I agree with Lady E, you are the written sound effects king. I would freak the F out if there was something in my pants uninvited... stripping in a parking lot mid-freak out sounds kind of like a fun thing to watch though...
ReplyDeleteQuite some years ago I was in my bedroom listening to music when a moth decided to fly into my shorts. I think anyone would do the same and try to swat it. Explaining this to my mother after she walked in and witnessed me slapping my crotch area was no easy task.
ReplyDeleteThankfully there was evidence.
cool
ReplyDeleteI gotta agree with Pickelope on this one. Also how did you not feel it when you put them on!!
ReplyDeleteHow's that youble treating you Mr Taco Hell?