On a Lighter Note

Still recovering from the death of my dad, so expect posts to be half-assed and semi-sporadic for a week or two.  My apologies in advance.  I'll be back to my regular 'tapdancing monkey' self in no time.

For now, I wanted to share this with you:

What.

Long-time readers of this blog know my day job is to sell pet food, feed, lawn supplies, etc.  I have been in the pet industry for a few years now, and I see a lot of interesting things.

But everything pales in comparison to...

THE PACKAGE.

The Package is a 3-treat-pack consisting of a 6" bully stick (aka penis) and the scrotum.  They're odorless, oven-dried, and dogs go bananas for them.

But... The Package... well, the slogan sums it up:  "It Is What It Is."

Yeah.

As a salesman, I have to think of ways to sell this product to customers.  I get to walk into retail stores and go 'hey, look at my package' and 'my package is going to make you a LOT of money.'

...do you wanna touch it?  Here, touch it...

I have such a 'hard' job...

And the jokes just keep on coming.  As a male, I have prepared 32 years for the chance to tell penis jokes and get paid for it, and here I am.

Side view.  I'm sorry.

It's not the most attractive treat I've ever sold, but those parts really can't be called attractive, can they?

(Fun fact:  Bully sticks are cut and sold in different sizes.  The 'full cane' is usually a 36" long tallywhacker of chewy goodness, and retails anywhere from $17 to $35 depending on quality and thickness.  And now you know...)

What's funny is the first thing out of my mouth when I saw this treat was "That's six inches?  Are you sure, that looks a little small..." and instantly THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID popped into my brain.

I may make the world of pet supplies look sexy and glamorous, but this product proves it's not all sunshine and unicorn-farts.  The Package is serious business, and with luck, will be a good moneymaker for me.

It has come to this... I am selling my package to make a living... for some reason, I'm not that surprised.