Bar Room Observations: Girls and Drunken Sex Talk

I was at a hotel bar in Billings Montana and was treated to a fun conversation about sex from two drunken women.

Apparently there was an Ag symposium in town as well, and the chaperons came to party after all the 4H kids went to bed.

Two semi-hot women in tight cowboy jeans came up to the bar and started ordering drinks.  After about drink two, they start talking about blowjobs.

And they're arguing.

One insists "It's not a bj unless he pops in your mouth.  If it end in the hand, it's a handjob with some sloppy kisses..."

This argument went on for some time, while I did my best to hide an awkward boner.

Once they came to an agreement about what properly constitutes a blowie, they started telling blowjob stories.  One girl says "I'll only swallow if I love him... If he's just some random dude at the bar I'll let him come on my tits or something."

A few 'random dudes' at the bar heard this and started planning their evening.  More guys were getting riled up, but noone dared approach them... they didn't want the conversation to end.

And as the drinks kept flowing, their volume rose.

And their conversation somehow got clearer through the noise and bustle of the bar...

They talked about technique... tugging versus twisting, licking versus sucking...

More and more faces on the men had that 'awkward boner' look... slightly flushed, looking around to see if anyone is noticing, all while staying attentive to the conversation at hand...

"You know, one guy I was with liked to talk dirty.  He told me 'gargle my balls, baby' so I did.  I took one in my mouth and went 'HGLRGLWRRRRGL...'  His dick INSTANTLY deflated!"

One guy at the bar laughed, and tried to cover it up.  He almost fucked it up for all of us, as the girls still didn't realize we were listening to every word they were saying...

Once they were done with blowjob talk, they went into 'one-upsmanship' mode with sex stories.  Places they've been, sizes they've been with (which turned off a lot of guys, fearing they can't compete) and brag brag brag.

They both, at one point, agreed to the fact that "ass is the new pussy," as they both seemed to prefer it in the back door.

More guys with awkward boner faces.  Not even the bartender wanted to come from behind the bar to serve people drinks at their table...

The conversation finally ended with both girls leaving together.  No guy was brave enough to approach, so they left alone.

Two minutes of awkward silence later, the bar erupted into talk again.  This time, about those girls and their conversation.

I guess most of the men were waiting for the blood to flow back into their brains?

Or they don't like talking to other men when they're pitching a tent in their pants....

Either/or, it made for a fun night.  If only the 4H kids knew what their moms were really like, and if only the other parents knew as well.

As for the bar, we all knew.  And that's good enough for me.