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6/29/12

The X-Hose - Prepare to Giggle!

I was watching TV late last night when I saw this infomercial:



I couldn't stop laughing.  I just kept thinking 'this hose is a grower, not a shower...

...just like me!'

Yes yes, Condi.  It shrinks.  You can fit a 75 foot hose in the palm of your hand!

And then turn it on, and watch it grow to full, behemoth size!

I mean, come on, how can you NOT have penis jokes with this kind of product?

I'm tempted to purchase this, just so I can say 'my hose is cooler than your hose' on a regular basis...

But then again, it's hard (hahaha) to trust anything you see on an infomercial.  Those products are usually worthless...

(and, of course, how can this NOT be my Dude Write submission for the week??)

32 comments:

  1. Lady Estrogen6/29/12, 8:25 AM

    Hahaha!! I'm all about the growers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Workingdan6/29/12, 8:32 AM

    I already have a "hose" that grows and shrinks, why would I want another one?

    ReplyDelete
  3. L-Kat6/29/12, 8:37 AM

    I saw this infomercial on Tuesday! I was waiting in a bar for a friend to join me, watching infomercials and giggling out loud to no one. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown6/29/12, 8:44 AM

    @Workingdan: Because you can show THIS one to the neighbors without getting arrested?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ken6/29/12, 8:49 AM

    I can't help but wonder id it disappears if you put it in cold water?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Monkey Butt6/29/12, 9:17 AM

    That hose is frakin AWESOME! lols. Someone buy it and run a product review. !!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Workingdan6/29/12, 9:59 AM

    @brandon Ahh! I never thought about that! I always wanted to show of my hose to my neighbors....who happen to be Amish!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Who Woulda Thought?6/29/12, 10:05 AM

    What about shrinkage?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Julie Ferguson6/29/12, 10:55 AM

    Is it bad that my mind went straight to the gutter?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Unknown6/29/12, 10:57 AM

    Believe me, you're in good company.

    I said 'that's what he/she said' at least 5 times during this infomercial!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Just Keepin It Real, Folks!6/29/12, 11:04 AM

    DANG, it works just like a teenage boy when he sees a hot chick and shrinks when her DAD catches him in the act.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Unknown6/29/12, 11:07 AM

    Replace DAD with husband/boyfriend, and the same applies to us adults...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bart6/29/12, 11:36 AM

    lol wtf did i watch? it was trippy, im buying it!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Chris Bird6/29/12, 11:46 AM

    My hose shrinks every time I see my "X".

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous6/29/12, 12:40 PM

    That seems like it could be a quality pro....I just can't finish that statement.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Melanie6/29/12, 1:03 PM

    Wow. I mean. Wow. I'm a little freaked out. Think of that damage something that grows that much could do...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Al Penwasser6/29/12, 2:53 PM

    And therein lies the story of my teen years.
    And here I thought shake weights were funny.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Beans6/29/12, 3:46 PM

    I...kinda want this hose, too. If I ever see this commercial on TV, I'll probably bust a gut laughing from it! XD

    -Barb the French Bean

    ReplyDelete
  19. Joe6/29/12, 5:50 PM

    I'm certainly tired of tugging my heavy hose. At first I thought it was a joke. I want one. I don't do any gardening or cleaning; I just need it to make crude erection jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Unknown6/29/12, 6:12 PM

    "See baby? When you twist the knob, it gets bigger!"

    ReplyDelete
  21. WilyGuy6/29/12, 7:03 PM

    That is a bit disturbing. It's like gardening porn.

    WG

    ReplyDelete
  22. AccordingtoJewels6/29/12, 7:30 PM

    Oh wow...this is fantastic! light weight, expandable, shrinks right back up when you are done with it, easily stored. I almost got turned on watching the water flow through that hose and plump it up. I'm a sick fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  23. not displayed6/30/12, 4:56 AM

    I'm kinda disappointed that we dont get them here yet

    ReplyDelete
  24. Unknown6/30/12, 8:26 PM

    Man.... so... many... jokes... here...

    It doesn't help that those infomercials come on late at night.

    Funny!

    Michael A. Walker
    Defying Procrastination

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous7/1/12, 3:40 AM

    I don't care if it's worthless. I want one. I want one now.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous7/1/12, 4:10 AM

    Wouldn't want to accidentally step on that...

    ReplyDelete
  27. A Beer for the Shower7/2/12, 6:08 AM

    It's true, I AM tired of lugging around this big heavy hose. What relief to my aching back!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Zombie7/2/12, 7:43 AM

    Dafuq kinda black magic is this shit? O.O

    ReplyDelete
  29. Youngman Brown7/3/12, 4:01 AM

    Only expands to 3x its size? Psh.

    ReplyDelete
  30. LogAllot.com7/3/12, 11:26 AM

    LMAO! I started laughing too..because I was thinking, what was going through your mind!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Q7/4/12, 9:56 PM

    LOL! I'm so ordering one of these! I hope it works when it gets cold.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sue8/20/12, 7:29 PM

    Only when it is cold...lol. I bought a 59foot one, just used it tonight, amazing, I want another, longer one.so light, I actually rolled it up and hung it over the water turn on knob. All you do I'd turn the water on, turn the valve on the hose off and it expands. Too, shrink it, turn the water off, empty the hose and it shrinks down. I have a very bad back and this is amazing. Worth the buy!

    ReplyDelete

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