I don't like assholes, and I have no problem being an asshole myself to those that deserve it.
I was in Montana this week, and had the chance to be an ass to a guy who pulled into a handicapped parking spot.
I was visiting a customer, and in my car. I was getting my notes together, along with all the presentations I was going over, when I guy pull into the spot next to me. It was a handicapped spot, and he didn't have any plates or placards on his car. The lot was rather full, so he decided to take a spot that didn't belong to him instead of parking 100 feet away.
I'm not cool with that. I glare him down as he enters the store, and I go in and do my business with my client.
20 minutes later, I'm coming out and his car is still there. I see an old lady drive by, handicapped parking card in her car, looking for a spot. Thanks to this douche, there is none.
At that point, I'm fed up. I start taking pictures of his car, his license plate, etc. to take to the local police. I'm busting this guy's ass.
And that's when he comes out.
So I tell him. I call him an ass, and tell him it's not cool.
"Are you a COP?" I tell him no, but I can still take these pictures to the police to make sure he gets a ticket...
That's when he starts to bargain. Yelling and intimidation wasn't working, because I knew I could kick his ass if he started something. So he starts to barter....
"Look man, if I give you $20, will you erase the pictures?" He'd rather pay $20 to me than $100 to a ticket, and he started to tuck a $20 bill into my shirt pocket.
I like money, so I relented. Besides, I don't know if the cops would even care or take my pictures as evidence.
But, it got me thinking...
I went to a different parking lot, and caught two other people doing it. In the course of 90 minutes, I made sixty bucks.
And hopefully I taught three assholes a valuable lesson...
Problem, Montana?
HAHAHAHHAHA. U mad, bro.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, these douches deserved it. I've been in some very busy parking lots myself and I've NEVER parked in a handicap spot. I'm glad they got their 20 bucks taken from them. Next time don't be an asshole and it won't happen.
Oh man this makes me SO mad! I have a very dear friend with MS, so this strikes a chord with me.
ReplyDeleteI'm probably more of an ass than you, I would have taken their money AND reported them to the police.
Exploitation? Maybe. Dishonest? Certainly. But do they deserve it? Absolutely.
Dude, I love that you did this! I can only imagine you standing there all stoic and official and teaching them a lesson as you tuck the $20 in your pocket and drive off with a smug look on your face. You need a cape and a cool "superhero of the people" type of name!
ReplyDeleteNice. Blackmailing assholes is an absolute win.
ReplyDeleteI have a sore spot for this as well! If I had super-human powers, I would tell that old lady to hold on just a minute, pick up the car and heave it across the parking lot, and kindly escort the old lady into her rightful parking space.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think you are on to a crafty money-making scheme! Genius! I just might give this a shot and see what happens! Those bastards deserve to be blackmailed!
Respect the handicapped!
Oh you are soooo bad. But I like it. I have a placard for my car because of my knees. Anywho, I have a few friends in Blue around here from when I worked in the hospital. They love it when I take pictures of the cars and trucks of these lazy slobs and email them to em'. They don't have time for handicapped patrol, but I do.
ReplyDeleteTo all:
ReplyDeleteA superhero, I am not. I blackmailed for my own benefit, but mostly to teach asses a lesson.
I WAS tempted to take the money and still send the pictures in, but I erased the photos before this thought came to me. If I do something like this again, it will only be to punish evil-doers, not benefit from their ass-holery...
Evil? Yes. Genius? Yes. Evil Genius? You bet. MWA HA HA!!!
You are a clever business man. Not a bad side job for extra coin in your pocket. Besides, those assholes who park in the handicap spaces deserve it.
ReplyDeleteman i remember a buddy pulled into a handicap spot and he got out and dragged his leg like homer simpson, anyways coming out of a store was a guy that had a prosthetic leg, man did he ever give him a dirty look.
ReplyDeleteYou are a genius. You are doing a public service!
ReplyDeleteSticking it to the jerks = Good
ReplyDeleteProfiting from it = BAD
It makes you just as big an asshole as the people you complain about. HOW does this help the handicapped? If you have a soul, you should donate your ill-gotten gains to the ADA or something.
You are my hero. I will do this now. I so will. Holy money.
ReplyDeleteLOL I love it! He was a tool and deserves to be out the $20! I can't stand people that do that and then you see little old ladies/men with walkers and crap hoofing it from the back of the parking lot. Not cool.
ReplyDeletewow its only $100 in montana, that shit is like $280 dollars in california, and that was 5 years ago
ReplyDeleteYou are my new superhero!
ReplyDeleteLike shooting assholes in a barrel.
ReplyDeleteYou shot, you score!
Outstanding!!
Kudos to you for being the robbing hood for the Handicapped. Although, I know of many people who get the placards and don't really deserve them.
ReplyDeleteWord. Handicapped placards are like medicinal marijuana cards. If you really want one, you can get one if you try.
ReplyDeleteHowever, these assholes didn't try. They just took. And I, in return, took from them.
@Anon: I sort of agree, I did feel like this was dirty money, in a way. Don't worry, it went to a good cause. (and no, I won't elaborate)
Oh, this is how you did it. Man, you are nuts. Creative, but nuts. I idolize you, but I'd never verbally admit it. LOL! I'm glad that you stuck it to those idiots.
ReplyDeleteI am so curious to know where in Montana you could possibly find three people in one day illegally using handicapped parking spaces in a parking lot? If you weren't in Billings then I am going to have to say that I don't believe you. If you were in Billings then I suppose that is possible...and that you would actually find three people who would actually pay you money??? You must be very intimidating!
ReplyDeleteThat's hysterical! And a great idea if you ever need some relatively quick cash.
ReplyDeleteIt bugs me too. Although, I do admit to parking in the "expecting mom" ones if I'm running in/out quick. My theory... prove I'm not!
Michael.. you could always say you were meeting your mother and that you misunderstood the sign.. "What? I AM expecting Mom!"
ReplyDelete