If we can use gum as currency, why not sex?

"Of COURSE you can pay me in sex!!"

(This post was partially inspired by Lady Estrogen... surprise surprise... THIS is why we can't have nice things!)

Most TV watchers have seen commercials for Trident Layers gum, where people are being paid in gum instead of money.

Babysitter:  "Of COURSE you can pay me in gum!"

Sad phone repairman:  "I wish they paid ME in gum..."

So it got me thinking, since I'm a dirty-minded guy:  What if you could use other forms of payments instead of money?

Thanks to this commercial, the first thought in my mind was "cum."  It rhymes with gum, and if you do a quick word transfer, the Trident commercial takes on a WHOLE new meaning!  The look in the babysitters' eyes makes it even funnier.

Oooh, she's getting paid in CUM!

But cum is kind of messy, and how do you accurately measure it for a form of currency?  I took that basic idea, and changed it to "orgasms."

They're easier to measure, and married couples have been using O's as a transaction for many years.  I myself, when married, had a few conversations that played out like this:

"Hey Brandon, can you replace the brakes on my car?  They're going bad, and I'm afraid to drive like this..."

"Sure, if I get a bj for it..."  Guys have been using O's as bargaining chips since the stone age, and I think it should be given a fair market value.

After all, the Orgasm is more stable than the Euro, can be universally traded like gold, and has a value everyone can appreciate.  I mean, who doesn't like orgasms?

I wish they paid ME in sex...

But sometimes an O is hard to give.  Guys can get them without blinking, but the female orgasm is a tricky beast.

I personally think every female O should be worth 3 male O's, but my point of view could be a little biased...


Ultimately I decided on sex.  Sex is an easy alternative to money, and people do chores and tasks for sexual favors all the time.  In fact, there's been a few occasions where I've helped out friends and neighbors where a quick "wham bam" would have been an acceptable payment.

So, I ask you:  Would you rather be paid in gum, or in sexual favors?  Or is cold hard cash still the method of choice?  Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.