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7/26/11

What does my dog have in common with rural america?

Crop Dusting.

As I travel through the northwest, I pass by a lot of farmland.  Now and then I get to see crop dusting planes flying by, dumping pesticides or fertilizer on crops.  Watching these pilots dip and dive is a fascinating sight.

The sheer talent these people have make me want to get a pilots license, just so I can learn to do this.  Granted, I never plan on being a farmer, but simply having the skill to pilot a plane and to do aerial acrobatics would itself be a great reward.

One day.  One day I will fly a plane, just so I can say "look what I can do.

A bonus is being able to take pictures like these to show my boys.  They're 3 and 5, and love airplanes.  Telling them about crop dusters and showing pictures like this to them blows their minds.  Hopefully one day I'll be able to take them out into Idaho or Montana farmland and go "watch this, boys..."

Whether it's me controlling the plane, or just pointing out a pilot doing his thing, I know the boys will be absolutely floored.  To see a plane this close to you, this close to the ground... it's jaw-dropping.

So you're probably asking... what does this have to do with my dog?  Well, same words (crop dusting) but a different meaning.  Here is the definition of crop dusting from the urban dictionary:


This. Is. My dog.  Melody has some NASTY gas, and will walk into a room, squeak out a silent one, and walk away before it blasts my nose.  Either that or she'll be completely asleep and foofing away.  Recently my girlfriend and I were watching a movie.  She was exhausted and kept drifting away, falling asleep in my arms...

...then a scent would hit her nostrils.  Faster than you can scream "WAKE UP!" she would shoot straight up, look at the dog, and go "Melody, outside NOW!"  The dog wouldn't have it, and stayed put.

Now, when I want to, I could have some really ripe farts.  But this dog... THIS DOG blows my bowels out of the water.  I don't know how she does it... we feed her a premium food that isn't supposed to cause gas.  Maybe she's getting into something she isn't supposed to?

Regardless, I need to hang one of those pine-tree air fresheners off her tail, as close to her ass as I can get. This dog is just plain messed up...

16 comments:

  1. Zombie7/26/11, 7:31 AM

    crop dusting everywhere! lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Talk2Q7/26/11, 9:39 AM

    LOL! I started laughing as soon as I read your tweet for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. my day in a sentence7/26/11, 9:39 AM

    One of my mates insists that they aren't really crop dusting (the planes, not dogs) but poisoning people with all sorts of chemicals). He believes the NASA does it. -.-'

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haven7/26/11, 10:08 AM

    ::laughs:: You totally just made me snort my juice. Good job hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  5. DaleTheDoll7/26/11, 10:23 AM

    Humans and the passage of gas--endless fascination.

    ReplyDelete
  6. D47/26/11, 10:39 AM

    Airplanes and farts. You're talented, man. You are.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chunky Mama7/26/11, 10:56 AM

    TOTALLY off topic, but next time you are in L.A., you should take your boys to the In N Out on Sepulveda right next to LAX. The big ass Virgin Airlines planes fly very low there because they land on a runway just a few yards from the restaurant. It's awesome and a little bit scary, and my 4 yr old LOVES it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. BB7/26/11, 11:54 AM

    Hi...I left a comment on Mynx's page of your guest post. I took off to Idaho in 1978 and stayed for 1 year. Let's just say that I could never run for public office in the state. It was a wild, wonderful and certainly colorful experience. I often wonder if I'll ever get back there to see it now but it was a beautiful state and I trekked many miles there. Love your blog. And oh those Mormon's tried so hard to convert me. But I'm from New Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pickleope7/26/11, 12:26 PM

    I wonder if there's an alternative definition to "wing-walkers" because those are great too.
    And is this just a cover story so you can fart freely?

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  10. LoneIslander7/26/11, 7:12 PM

    I think that can relate to almost everyone's dog.

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  11. Aaron M. Gipson7/26/11, 7:38 PM

    I'm surprised you didn't get out your car and reenactment scene North by Northwest. And as a cat owner, I can personally attest to the weapons grade caliber of their farts as well...

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  12. Melanie7/26/11, 10:22 PM

    Gotta love animals...you know its bad too when they have to leave the room. AND great airplane pics!

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  13. The Spaghetti Westerner7/27/11, 12:54 AM

    Wow...there I was, thinking of you and your boys blissfully watching airplanes, and WHAM! Dog farts. I actually almost choked on my water...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mooner Johnson7/27/11, 5:06 AM

    Brandini. Is your dog part Daschound and Chihuahua? Melody must be related to the Squirt. It's hard to keep fresh flowers fresh in their vase if the mini-dog is in the room after supper.

    Only thing worse than dog farts is the odor comes off their ass after an anal gland milking.

    FUCK RICK PERRY!

    ReplyDelete
  15. squatlo7/27/11, 7:06 AM

    I'm reminded of the scene in the movie "10" when the minister blames the dog whenever his elderly housekeeper passes wind...

    I crop dusted all the way down the driveway to get this morning's paper... then realized I should have saved it for the return trip since I had to pass through the "dead zone" on my way back to the porch.

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  16. 5 Things About Nothing Important4/8/12, 10:04 PM

    I used to have a dog thay sniffed her butt everytime she farted. Sometimes when she heard people fart too.

    ReplyDelete

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