This post was inspired by a conversation between my girlfriend and I. We moved into her grandmother's house when we moved to Idaho, and had to pack up grandma's things before we could unpack our stuff. One thing grandma had more than anything else: Jesus. es.
Jesus figurines, Jesus pictures, Jesus everywhere.
And from a smart-ass perspective, I was amused because no two Jesuses looked the same. It was like Jesus snowflakes.
When we finished packing, we had a "Big ol' box-o-Jesus." Reminiscing about that box, the conversation that inspired this epic post began.
Me: "So what exactly is the proper plural of Jesus? Jesuses? Jesuseseses? Jesusii?"
Her: "I'm not sure. But it really doesn't matter. The wonderful thing about Jesus is he's the only one."
And then, synapses in my brain began to fire rapidly.
This was the result:
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| Meet Tigger-Jesus |
Once the avalanche started, I couldn't stop. I was singing "oh the wonderful thing about Jesuses, is Jesuses are wonderful things. Their tops are made of salvation, their bottoms are made out of miracles."
And so on.
Images of Jesus bouncing on Pooh and Rabbit came flooding into my mind.
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| This picture didn't look right before I photoshopped it, and it certainly doesn't look right now. |
Anyway, happy Easter. For me, it will never be the same.
Happy easter! You are correct, I will not soon forget this!
ReplyDeleteHahahha I love that picture of Jesus-tigger on Rabbit. I did a post a long long time ago titled "Would you like to buy a box of Jesus" about when Mormons tried to get me, and the picture that came in their pamphlet looked dirtier than that. How great is that? Happy Zombie Jesus day! P.s. What did you do with that box of Jesus?
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter! :)
ReplyDeleteWell, one thing I have learned is that Tigger and Rabbit were lovers. And now I can never watch Winnie the Pooh again.
ReplyDeleteTigger Jesus! :D
ReplyDeletewow that was a new one happy easter
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading the post, I kept hoping (hopping, it's Easter) to see the bastard child of the words Jesus and Tigger put together.
ReplyDeleteJigger? Tigus? The Passion Of The Pooh?
jesus poundin christ oh wait rabbit :D
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree. Jesus equals Tigger. He wouldn't be Pooh. Pooh was a grump and a fatalistic and chronically depressed. I love those kinds of conversations. You sometimes wonder how you got there in the end.
ReplyDeletethat looks creepy!
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter my friend!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha I cant stop laughing!
ReplyDeleteAnd Im pretty sure its Jesus' I guess, I dont know.
AHAH! The song, the catchy song! Jesu-fied! I approve.
ReplyDeleteXD
Lol, OMT! (Oh My Tigger!) I definitely will remember this post
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard at the second picture. Also, I believe it is "Jesusii".
ReplyDeleteI've got an image in my head of Tigger being crucified now. It's not pleasant.
ReplyDeleteYou are now aware that Winnie the Pooh is an entire Jesus allegory.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!!! Thats just too funny!
ReplyDeleteWe hear about adult Jesus and baby Jesus all the time. I want to know why we never hear about adolescent Jesus. Didn't anyone want to paint Jesus with acne? Did he rebel against Mary and Joseph, staying out late and raising....?
ReplyDeleteHey, this was fantastic and I'm thrilled to the point of having a religious experience, seeing 'Tigger-Jesus' have a rather intimate moment with rabbit. Yes, I think it's a rabbit, or am I just 'splitting hares' :)
ReplyDeleteNice one friend, I like your style and that worries me LOL
Have a peaceful, positive Easter.
tigger jesus is best jesus! :O
ReplyDeleteCongratulations sir, you've written the funniest easter blog this year!
ReplyDelete(LOL)You're right! I will have this image etched into my brain forever! You might say that Jesus was res-erected.
ReplyDeleteTigger-Jesus. lol. Funny. I like that pic of the dancin' Tigger Jesus. The one where he's holding down Rabbit is kinda alarming, though. It looks like Tigger-Jesus is putting some naughty moves on poor Rabbit. Will Rabbit let Tigger-Jesus have his heavenly way with him- or will Rabbit become the aggressor and use his trusty flyswatter on Tigger-Jesus's ass.
ReplyDeleteTune in next week. Hoppy Easter!
ha, sounds like you made a good time out of a chore. Thats always fun to do with someone you love.
ReplyDeleteBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
ReplyDeleteYou need to shoop some tongues touching on the tiger rabbit one! win!!
ReplyDeleteTigger Jesus ftw! not going to forget that
ReplyDeletetiger zombie raptor jesus next!
ReplyDeletethat last image is really disturbing. also I want to see some Black Jesuses, Chinese Jesuses, Space Jesuses... LOL
ReplyDeleteWell, this post may have earned you a one-way ticked to Hell.
ReplyDeleteSee you there!
hed
Nice blog. I think, like any other grouping of names youd just pluralize it or to make it easier, say what kind of jesus it is and plural the modifier "jesus statues" or "jesus coasters"
ReplyDeletegreat idea! very funny
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see a crucifix now... lol.
ReplyDelete