Wash Your Hands, Idaho!

I grew out of this phase when I was about 15.  And I don’t know if this is a guy-only thing, or if women in Idaho are guilty of the same crime.  Either way, I’m kind of mortified.

Why don’t people wash their hands after using the restroom? 

Washing Hands.
Not just for employees anymore...

Now, as you’ve gathered from some previous posts, I’m a pretty keen observer.  Sometimes I’m as dense as they get, and don’t see things in front of my face, but usually I’m fairly sharp.

My girlfriend calls this an understatement.  When we were living hundreds of miles apart from each other, we would send “miss you” pics of each other, what we were doing, etc.  Now, she’s a gorgeous sight to behold, but I’d always look at the whole picture.  When I point things out in the background, she sighs.  

Typical me.

Back to the handwashing.  I would say at least a dozen times in the past week or so, I have been in public restrooms, either at work, at a mall, department store, etc.  On MULTIPLE occasions, I have noticed people going straight from the urinal/stall to the exit door.

BLARGH!

When I was 13, I went through this phase where I thought my junk was cleaner than everything else, so I would wash my hands BEFORE taking a leak.  After all, I’ve touched doors, other people, dirt, etc.  I don’t want that crap on my manhood!

It took a while before I realized that my hands were going from my tubesnake to another’s hand when I shook hands.  That’s not fair to the other people.  And if put in the other person’s shoes, I don’t want your meat-sweat on my hands…

So I started washing before and after.  Paranoid much?

My gf’s lil bro is 14.  He and his friends are going through this phase now.  Hands never get washed.  You hear a flush, no running water, and 2 seconds later he's walking out of the restroom.  Ugh.  

Yet he doesn't understand why I don’t want any chips from the same bag he just had his grubby hands in… or why, when we sit down for dinner together, that I pass the food to him LAST.

Kids & Dirty Hands.  It's like Peanut Butter & Jelly.
They just go together.

Teens I can understand.  They’re not that bright.  They’re children after all.  We hope they grow up before they’re on their own.  Hand washing, teeth brushing, showering on a regular basis…  (Speaking of... dude.  If you're reading this, spend more time soaping up your pits and feet.  That Axe BS you use isn't helping.  At all.)

But adults?  I’ve seen numerous grown men do this.  Recently.  And often.  Some of them I shook their hands while interviewing for this job.  Some of them I have seen in the mall, go straight from the unwashed restroom to picking up their small children.

The more I think about it, the more I want to become one of those paranoid OCD people that carry around hand sanitizer in my pocket and go through a bottle a day…

I overheard one guy at a gas station use the phrase “God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.”  He was wearing a pair of 20 year old overalls, and smelled like he hasn’t bathed since 2009.  I’m sorry dude, but I don’t take hygiene advice from someone who smells like mud-butt and is missing half their teeth.

*Insert Banjo Music Here*

When I was in California, I lived in “The Inland Empire,” commonly known as the armpit of SoCal.  I’m used to grungy people to an extent.  But Idaho… sheesh… this is by far the dirtiest place I’ve ever lived.

If you come to visit Idaho as a tourist (WHY?  You poor fool…) be sure to wash your hands often.  You don’t know where we’ve been, after all…