Idaho Craigslist: Snippets of Spud-Culture at its Finest

I would like to apologize in advance for this post.  It's a little crass, but still amusing.  You have been warned.

Craigslist.  Ah, the shallow end of the gene pool, no matter where you live.  I don't know why, but it seems like the idiots flock to this site, and in Idaho, it's not any different.

First, from the 'FREE' Category.

Bunny to good home NOT FOR FOOD!!! (Rexburg )

Date: 2010-12-30, 5:44PM MST
Reply to: (omitted for their sake...)

Our rabbit house outgrown our son litterally, he is to big for us to keep. Our son still tries to carry him around even though he is much to heavy, and we dont want either of them to get hurt. He is free we just want him to leave as a pet not food. You will need to have your own cage for "Bunny" as we are not getting rid of the cage. Please dont eat our pet make him your pet.

Now call me crazy, but maybe this person has been to PetsOrFood.com one too many times?  Or am I the only one who doesn't think "yay, free bunny!  I know what *I'm* havin for dinner!"

Next, from "Missed Encounters."

You slept in my bed last night - m4w
Date: 2011-01-31, 9:39AM MST

ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.

YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.

ME: Strangely bemused, but too tired and distracted by other women in my head to care.

YOU: Gone this morning when I woke up.

ME: Trying to determine from roommates who you were, but they have no clue (they really aren't too conscious right now and think I am lying).

If you attended what must have been a great party last night (I can tell from the mess) and slept in some guys bed then please poke me back, I have some things here that might be yours. Also, let me know if you will be back tonight and I will change the sheets.

Finally, thank you for not taking my side of the bed, THAT would have been awkward.

    Location: Ammon
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Wow.  I've been drunk before, but not this drunk.  Or this desperate.  Good job, bro.  Good job.

This next one was best left as a screenshot.  The picture makes the story...

I have NEVER seen a tabby that looks like THAT!

Here are some posts that speak for themselves:

Personal Assistant 1 hr/day 8am wanted
Date: 2011-01-20, 10:55AM MST

I want to get out of the house and workout everyday. I need help motivating my body to walk out the door. I need someone to come ring the doorbell and tell me to get out of the house to go for a run, hike, kayak or such.

It should only take a week of this to get me motivated enough to go on my own.

    Location: Blackfoot
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
    Compensation: $8/1 hour/day.





I Saw Your Breasts By Accident - m4w
Date: 2010-11-20, 12:55PM MST

I just happened to be walking my dog off 7th street when I looked up at an apartment building and you were standing at your window topless, perfect as a figure cut out of a painting, your breasts so firm and yet plump in a way that suggested you would yield to the right touch. I went home and listened to classical music for an hour, trying desperately to recreate that feeling I had when I saw your breasts in the window, that transcendent serenity one feels only in the presence of art. When the music didn't work, I baked a cobbler - peach, my grandmother's most prized recipe - and sat on the floor of my living room, eating it with my hands, savoring not only the taste, but the warmth of the filling, and the just-right flakiness of the outside. I could've been in the remotest land on Earth, untouched by civilization - my perception felt that pure. All afternoon I've been floating inside; those breasts were a minor miracle in the midst of this gray, cold week. Thank you.

    Location: IF
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




East-End Walmart Hottie - m4w
Date: 2010-09-03, 7:17PM MST

You were a delicious BBW with a stained white t-shirt & a half a dozen kids in tow, I was sporting a skullet with a HD jean vest & short cut-offs. You offered me a dart from your fresh deck & I refused as I don't smoke menthols. I would love to reconsider that offer, and by the way that wasn't my old lady with me that was my parole officer.

    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



cock shot etiquette
Date: 2010-11-22, 9:50PM MST

since so many guys post cock shots on CL, i thought i'd offer some advice from a woman's perspective on how to do it right. or better. first, have good lighting. maybe a soft glow or indirect light. it's pleasing to the eye. make sure you don't have alot of riff raff in the shot. after all, this is the pic that is going to make the ladies run to you. you know, get us in the mood because nothing turns a girl on more than your 9" tool and promises of all nighters. the riff raff you want to hide is your dirty laundry laying all over the bedroom floor, your twin bed, your roomies twin bed, trash, beer cans, bongs and please hide the many computer/tv cables snaking all around your student desk. also, we don't really want to see your tighty whities bunched down around your junk, your hairy gut or thighs or any kind of measuring device proving your inches. (to the guy who posted his cock shot posed all rigid like next to a bud beer can for measuring purposes or proof of his commoner status: way to rock the comedy world!) nor do we want to see your pants laying all around your feet so we can see your tool from above. this really makes the tube socks the issue at hand and you don't want that. the most important thing to keep in mind is location! i am begging you, as a lover of the 'big one', do not pose your dick over the toilet. we don't really want to see your bathroom shower doors or towels either. in fact, stay out of the bathroom. you guys need to think outside the box if you want to get in the box. be creative! pose your tool on black velvet. pose it on sheep skin. pose it with a piece of jewelry draping it's girth. oh! pose it with hundreds! pose it with keys to your jag or bmw m6 or 7 series dangling off the tip. if you have a prius or any kind of hybrid, don't use this method. wicked fast and expensive autos only. you see where i'm going? you can do so much more than this. women are tired of plain old cock shots. yeah, we love it, we want it bad, we want it 'all night long' (duh) but we need to see some creativity to get us to hit the reply button to 'hit you up'. i'm trying to help you boys get some..

    Location: lookinatit
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Now, one thing I'm not proud of are the bigots and racists in this state.  Granted, I can't do anything about it, but they really get under my skin sometimes.

I had a guy come up to me at a local bar once...

Him:  Hey man, wanna hear a funny joke?

Me:  Sure

Him:  You have a sense of humor, right?

Me:  Yeah, of course...

Him:  Ok.  Well, there were these two niggers at a bar....

I just walked away.  I'm sorry, I thought this was 2011.  Aren't we beyond that by now?

Here are a few wonderful examples of Idaho's 'finest'

Lastly, I want to point out that the mullet is still in high-fashion up in Idaho.  Yessiree, business in the front, party in the back.  It's the Idahoan way.  

I think the sleeveless shirt compliments the look, don't you?

Anyway, interaction time!  What kind of gems do you find in your local craigslist?  Share share share!!